Ridiculous Fears

Everyone has fears, hundreds of everyday fears, like spiders and the dark, but everyone also has the completely insane fears that are highly unlikely and are complete figments of their imagination. This is entirely normal. I have them, you have them, your mum has them, I bet even the Queen herself has them. Actually no, let's not bring Lizzie into this; she's perfect.
I'm sure some of the things in this post will ring large bells in your head and I'm sure there are also some blatantly obvious ones that I've missed out because I'm a moron; all the same, here are some of the ridiculous fears that I could think of:

1) Murderers under the bed
I can't even fit my hand under my bed, let alone a giant axe-wielding murderer with a team of 10 dwarf sidekicks and their respective machetes. However, in my head, they are there, every night, waiting to kill me. If I go to the bathroom in the night it is imperative that I do a giant leap from my bedroom door to my bed otherwise one of the dwarfs might be able to grab my ankles and drag me down and kill me. I know I am not the only person who feels this way.

2) Stepping in the cracks
I know that this is more of a childish fear and no-one really lives by the rule of no stepping in cracks in the road anymore, but I do occasionally find my self sub-consciously avoiding the cracks while walking around. Whether you thought that by stepping on the cracks you were somehow breaking your mother's back or when you stepped on the cracks bears would come out of the millimetre thin gaps in the pavement, as a child, stepping in the cracks in the pavement was an unacceptable and terrifying thought.

3) Toilet terrors
I may be the only one who is afraid of this one because it's pretty weird, but I feel like it should be shared all the same. Have you never worried about sitting on the toilet, especially when it's dark, and something (for some reason, in my head, it's always some sort of animal) crawling up the side of the toilet bowl? I don't know why I think this because the likeliness of this happening is next to nothing, unless fish turned into mutants and grew legs and figured out how to climb up the sewage system. I don't even want to think about that.

4) Alien invasion
I am not personally afraid of this one, but the kid that I babysit is completely convinced of this happening, and I'm sure he is not all alone in this thought. Scientists/astronauts/clever people aren't even sure if there are any life forms in space, let alone "aliens". So there is absolutely zero chance of aliens attacking Earth, abducting all the people and doing whatever aliens do with humans. However, I do not want to be rude about this fear as I am scared of monkeys climbing up the loo so...

I'm actually making myself a bit scared now, so I'm going to finish there. Sorry for the short blog today, I will write some nice long ones and so will Lucy when she gets her butt back from NYC.
Be as rude as you like about any of the above fears, but I'm sure you have thought about being killed by people hiding under your bed at least once.

M x