'Great' Gift Ideas From A Hopeless Shopper

It's that time of year, folks. Yes, the time of year that you can't say that you like anything at all without finding it wrapped under your tree on December 25th... Joked about liking that novelty Pom Pom scarf? Oh well, it's too late to return it now.
But we're all guilty of it. Having to buy gifts can be so tricky, we clutch straws trying to think of something, anything that the recipient might get an ounce of joy from...

Still stuck for ideas? Here's another (probably useless) gift guide from someone who is trying to gather inspiration (for next year, obviously) as much as the next person.

MUM
I would usually tend to discourage buying mothers kitchen-related goodies/equipment (until December 20th when you get desperate and all rational thinking goes out of the window) because that's not really a gift for her; it's a gift for the kitchen. And, lets be honest, our mums deserve a bit of love of Christmas. A special gift, because if they're anything like my mum, they've spent months preparing every last detail and planned every single situation until its flawless. Mum, you rock.
Of course, your mum might love kitchen related gifts. If that's the case, why are you still reading?!? You should be at Lakeland!

• Bath oils
• Cookbooks
• Magazine subscription - something like Woman & Home or Homes and Garden should suffice. Alternatively, I'm sure food magazines are always appreciated.
• Spa voucher - Let's be honest, she's going to need a de-stress after the madness that is Christmas

DAD
I'm pretty sure my dad isn't your typical dad. Is your dad obsessed with a small, tiny furball (the dog) and play computer games for 6 hours non-stop at the age of 48? Genuinely, I don't know if this is the norm. Please let me know.

Dads are always the most difficult to buy for, especially when you're no longer seven or eight when it was acceptable to buy him a pack of cards with bird species on. Merry Christmas Dad, have a completely mundane gift that we both know you will never open. Love, your brainless daughter.

But, I've planned every situation here. Whether your dad is the stylish one, the nerdy one or the one who is obsessed with stamp collecting, I've got it covered:

• Some useless invention - a self stirring mug would be perfect
• Coffee machine - I'm pretty sure every dad could do with one of these, especially if he has two argumentative teenage daughters. Lusm dad
• Books. Something coffee table-ish

TEENAGE BOY
Basically, the teenage male population all need a good kick up the backside, because they all smell so horrifically awful. And that is an understatement. Imagine the abuse I had absent-mindedly subjected my nostrils to when I visited a boys school this week. Awful. Anyway, they basically need deodorant. You can either do this in a subtle way or... a not so subtle way.

Dear (insert name),
You smell, let's make next year less offensive to my sense of smell
Love,
(insert name)

• Lynx (that's Axe for all you non-UK readers) - it always becomes so cheap at Christmas time, and although I have no brother, I always stock up
• Cologne
• Some man perfume. Does this mean that they will look like those models on the adverts? Probably not, but we can all dream

And for other, non-stench related gifts:

• Christmas Jumper!! (Probably only for those 1nd13 bo111z)
• Video Games

TEENAGE GIRL
Teenagers are difficult enough to shop for, but teenage girls?! Wow. You have fun there. And let me know how it goes. LOL-COPTER.

• Greys Anatomy Box Set
• Make-Up
• Gift Cards
• Stationary - I don't think parent's fully appreciate how expensive stationary is. Please just buy me felt tip pens and cuddle me
• A Starbucks voucher - especially if they're a UK teen. GCSEs are not fun for anyway. This is a must-have if you fancy your teenage girl surviving this tough time (stop me now before I go on a rant about my life, eek)

LITTLE KIDS
Children these days just don't appreciate the finer things in life. And by finer things, I mean Busted, Tracy Beaker and Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. So this Christmas, as the doting older sibling, why not give them a taste of the early noughties?

• Teletubbies (is this show still running?)
• Jacqueline Wilson Books
• Playmobil
• Sylvanian Families!

OLD RELATIVES
This is a ridiculously tough one. The thing is, lets be honest, they've had so many Christmases and Birthday's that they no longer want/need anything (no offence). So this year, I'll be looking at getting my grandparents:

• A tea cosy, mainly for my benefit. Except for you Nana. Don't go anywhere near my kettle, you don't let it brew for long enough!! (grumpy tea-addict)
• Tins of biscuits
• Scarves and gloves
• Slippers
• Box Sets - no, perhaps not Little Britain. But I'm pretty sure there is a Masterchef or Downton Abbey fan in every 70-something year old person.

SECRET SANTA

This is a really tough one. It depends if there are any 'rules' applicable. For example, at school, there is absolute mayhem. Everyone gives a little something each day, you will be verbally abused if you don't. and get something bigger at the end. But others only have one gift at the end with a budget cap.
So. Ideas for all occasions.

• Starbucks Tumbler (who doesn't want 25p off every Starbucks?)
• Metre long box of Jaffa Cakes. Nom.
• DVDs
• Let's be honest, you'll never go wrong with chocolate. Any stressy, tired teenager will truly appreciate the gift of a quick sugar hit more than a cruddy, half-hearted gift.

You have been warned. Be wary of the chocolate deficient teenage. Symptoms include mood swings, panda eyes and greasy hair.

I hope you found my not-so comprehensive guide to gift ideas for all groups vaguely useful. And if you didn't, I hope you found at least some humour in it.

Of course, I finished my Christmas shopping weeks ago. Is my award for most organised teenager in the post or?

L x