Best Movie Costumes Of All Time

It's that time of the year again, folks. As soon as mid-October hits, you can see the mad twitch in peoples eye before they dash up to stock on pumpkins and fun-size bags of sweets. On October 31st, it is totally all-right for middle aged men to hand out sweets to young children, but as soon as November 1st hits and the same man did just that, they would be done in for paedophilia. I'm sorry, was that too far?
When searching for inspiration for a Halloween inspired, I dug deep into the database into which I am most knowledgeable: movies!

Cady Heron - Mean Girls

We've all done this, or at least had nightmares about a situation like this, correct? Walking into a party only to find you're wearing the completely wrong thing. Terrifying.

In fact, all of The Plastics

'In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it'
Yes, I may be 16 now, but I'm still not too old to quote Mean Girls. NEVER TOO OLD. You can't help loving these girls however god damn evil they are. Secretly, although you never wanted to admit this to anyone, regardless of whether they felt the same thing, I always wanted to be a Plastic. Just a little bit.

Bridget Jones - Bridget Jone's Diary

So I don't actually think this was a Halloween costume as such (I would need to check, and checking requires effort), but it was one hell of a costume. What a theme, though. Sluts and Vicars. Classic.

Elle Woods - Legally Blonde

I am a strong contender for the title of Elle Wood's number one fan. Slightly (well, very) jealous of Vivienne Kensington, as they become best friends. Should've been me, Viv. Should've been me.
At this point in the film, she's still trying to impress Warner Hunnington III (what a loser), and is yet to fully appreciate the sheer awesomeness that is Owen Wilson's brother (to be honest, I didn't appreciate how awesome he was until the credits rolled, and then I found out he was Owen Wilson's brother. Awesomeness suddenly appreciated.)
I feel the need to insert a relevant quote here. Because quoting Legally Blonde is almost a normal part of my life as quoting Mean Girls is.
'I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid b*tch, I try not to look so constipated.'

Romeo & Juliet - Romeo & Juliet

I love you so much, Baz Luhrmann, you don't even know it. Thank you for creating the masterpiece that is Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Dane's Romeo & Juliet. Forever grateful, seriously. Is there anything more iconic than the angel and the knight costume?
Seriously, I hope one day I get a boyfriend cool enough to dress up with me, recreating this. Of course, it would be preferable if my boyfriend was Leonardo DiCaprio. But right now I'm not fussy.

Halloween Costumes in The Office
So, not technically a movie. But a post mentioning costumes, Halloween or otherwise, would be incomplete without The Office.

Having to choose between nine seasons of Halloween costumes is a task no self-confessed Office addict wants to do, too hard. But I think that they just have to be appreciated... Last week the new Office Halloween episode aired, the last ever Halloween episode!
*Resisting the need to rant for aaaaaaaages about how much I love The Office, but maybe I'll save it for another day*

So, Happy Halloween guys. I know I'm going to have a blast, a whole evening at home attempting to watch a scary movie, with what seems like never-ending knocks on the door from annoying West London children begging for sweets.
But maybe I'll sneak some sweets from the tray. Crazy night.

L x

Please Vote!!

Ok, so guys, I don't like to beg, but I really need you to do this for me. I've got this friend called Ella, and she's a super duper fabulous singer and she needs your help.
She entered a competition called Open Mic UK, and if she gets through the next round on November 18th (I think. Correct me if I'm wrong), she gets to sing at O2 Indigo in the O2 Arena. How incredible is that?!
But all that's an irrelevant right now. She needs your vote to be in with a chance to win a trip to Ireland to film a music video, all expenses paid, and have a documentary made about her experience.

But hey, before you cast your vote, maybe you'd like to know what you're voting for. Here is Ella's first original cover, Love.

Wasn't that incredible?! Right, we're all set! Let's get voting!

1) Head HERE

2) Watch Ella Walker's video and hold on to your socks because they may or may not be blown off.

3) Once watched, exit the pop up and click 'Vote Now'

4) So we've come to a slight snag. You're going to need to create an account. But HEY, you've come so far! Look at all the steps you've completed, don't turn back now! It's so worth it, I promise. Sign up IN A NEW TAB OR WINDOW. Do it or you'll have to listen to this gross gal's voice again to be able to vote. Lame.

5) Hey presto! You've helped Ella potentially head to Dublin. Give yourself a pat on the back and listen to a Mika song because you are officially a very good person.

It's really that simple.

Here's the link if you want it.

Hey, here it is again.

And again.

If you've read this, but don't vote, you will be visited by a urinating gremlin at midnight tonight that will eat all the biscuits in your home. You've been warned.

Crazy Things You Can Do At 16

So, we started this blog with one 16 year old and one 15 year old with great intentions of turning 16 soon. That soon to be 16 year old (it's me, if you haven't gathered) is now 16!!
I happened to be in the grand ol' city of New York, so technically, although this wasn't confirmed by my parents, I had to celebrate an American 16th birthday. Yes, a Sweet 16. I don't know, it just sounds more important than a 16th birthday, no?

It's been a week since my birthday, so the excitement has worn off a little and I've managed to grab a quick rest after the week non-stop marathon of partying, clubbing and drinking (that's a joke, I've mainly been watching Grey's Anatomy and drinking grape soda). Since I've had some time, I've looked up some things that I am legally do now that I have turned 16. Let me explain.

• Change my name. I shall now be known as either Velvet, Chastity or Hope. I've yet to decide.
• Get a license to sell scrap metal
• Operate heavy machinery
• Get married. Now all I have to do is pry Emma Stone away from Andrew Garfield and then force him down to the church
• Purchase alcoholic chocolates. We gonna get cruuuuunk
• Buy Slug pellets 
• Buy a chainsaw
• Own a squirrel
• Or, actually, buy any pet for that matter
• Drive a Tractor
• Buy a lottery ticket. Funny story here. The other day, Mindy and I went into a corner store trying to buy a lottery ticket. We are both 16, it's totally legal (by the way, we're not addicted to lottery tickets, it was our first one. Right of passage blah blah blah). But, err, we got refused. They wouldn't sell them to us.
• Pilot a glider
• Choose a GP. I'll stick with the GP I've got, thank you very much. My current GP looks exactly like Mindy's mum, it's uncanny. 

So, if like me, you are 16, are about to reach 16 or just dream of being 16, I hope I've inspired you. I don't know how on earth I would have inspired you, but, err, be safe kids, Especially when operating heavy machinery.

L x

How to Fake Pack Lightly: A Dummy's Guide

No, you don't need to rub your eyes like you are in some sort of cartoon, there was a post yesterday based on how to pack lightly, but that was a post on how to actually pack lightly, this one is about how to make it seem like you've packed lightly, even if you've packet an entire zoo (metaphorical exaggeration). Let's face it, we would love to take our entire wardrobe with us whenever we go away somewhere, no matter how far away or for how long we are going; that is just not feasible. Because our mothers won't let us. So, here is the blog to end your woes, a guide on how to trick your bossy parent(s) into thinking you've packed lightly when actually, you haven't.

1) Roll Everything

By rolling all of your clothes it gives them less surface area, therefore meaning that you can fit loads of rolled items in where you could have maybe fit one or two non-rolled ones. When I say roll everything, I mean roll everything, this trick works better than anything else. Once you've rolled all of the things in your suitcase, cover your rolled goods with folded clothes to make it look like you folded all of the things underneath.

Helpful tip: roll clothes around other stuff eg. T-shirts can be rolled beautifully around toothpaste tubes.

2) Individual Bags

This one can be done using any type of bag- drawstring, plastic, canvas, big, small. All you need to do is stuff these bags full of clothes and other crap (if you roll them this is even more fabulous) and arrange the bags in your suitcase in a neat jigsaw pattern.

Helpful tip: arrange your bags into categories, this makes life easier when trying to find things and unpacking eg. Jewellery, undies, tops etc.

3) Stuff Shoes

This doesn't cover much but, like Tesco said so wisely, every little helps. Everyone knows that you put your shoes at the bottom of your packing, but a brilliant thing to do is to put small things, like jewellery, socks and makeup in your shoes. Shove 'em right down into the toes of your shoes- you'd be surprised how much you can get in there.

4) Pockets

This, unfortunately, can't apply to everyone because it depends on whether you have pockets on your suitcase or not- if you do, read on! If you don't, you'll have to ignore this point, I'm afraid. Pockets are actually a lot more useful than you thought; they hold quite a lot. People are wary of putting things in pockets because you can't lock them and some people don't even remember that they're there. I like to put my electrical chargers in my suitcase pockets, because these can take up a fair amount of room in my suitcase and I wouldn't be too sad if they were stolen. This then gives you more space in the main body of your case to fill with anything you like. Other things that you could fill a suitcase's pockets with include: underwear, waterproof clothing, some books, flip-flops...

5) Sides

This may seem like an obvious one, but it is often forgotten: stuff things down the sides! Once you've packed in all of your (rolled and bagged) clothes, you think you have nowhere to put your cosmetics and toiletries! However, never fear, there is space- down the sides of your suitcase. Down there you can shove hairbrushes, deodorant, flip-flops and much more. It is brilliant.

Helpful tip: Don't put your toiletries in a bag altogether, distribute them into tiny wash bags and stuff them down the sides.

And finally, it may seem like cheating but... 6) Secretly put things in other peoples suitcases

This is only to be used in desperate times, we all know- desperate times call for desperate measures. Pick the person in your family who is least likely to notice (ie. Not your mother) and don't do it with big things like jumpers, just small tops etc. Also, don't pick things that could be mistaken for the other persons. What you need to do is fold your chosen item very thinly (one cannot roll in this situation) and place in between their clothes in their suitcase near the bottom, if possible next to things of the same colour, but not actually at the bottom as this could make your item easily discovered. Once at your travel destination you must stealthily remove your item from chosen family member's suitcase (best time is when they are using the loo). This can be done with up to 4 items, any more and you are taking a major risk.

You know sometimes when you to go away, there is a specific item of clothing that you really want to bring, but you can't really envisage wearing it on this trip so mum makes you take it out? Now you can ignore her! Because you'll have tons of room! Also, now you will have plenty of room for shopping.

You can thank me later, but for now, enjoy packing a giant suitcase-load of things into a small carry-on bag.

M x

How To Pack Lightly: A Dummy's Guide

If you've come to actually learn how to pack light, you've come to the wrong place. I'm so absolutely muscle-flinchingly horrendous at packing lightly, so this guide is as much of a learning experience for you as it is for me.

Yes. I've had to Google this. Google it too if you want, but you won't get that same hint of wit and banter that comes with it. Your call, I guess.

1) Bring a small bag
Let's face the facts. If you only have a small suitcase, you can't pack much anyway. Yes, it may lead to the classic 'sit on the suitcase to close it shut' scenario, but bringing a smaller bag will make you make some serious decisions about clothes.

2) Do you really need that...?
Be honest with yourself, do you really need four pairs of shoes for a weekend away? (This actually happened during the summer, and no, I didn't need four pairs. I only ended up wearing two.)
The thing I'm trying to say is this: yes, blue jeans are a staple and very good , but really, just don't even go there.
Think it over?


3) Don't bother bringing gym kit
I always make this mistake. I bring a pair of trainers, and some clothes, because I think I will foolishly head to the treadmill instead of lying on the beach. I have yet to see the inside of a hotel gym.

4) Check the weather
Sounds like such an obvious thing to do, but you'd be surprised. At least check whether it is winter or summer in the country you are visiting and the average temperature range. It probably narrows out about half your wardrobe.
Half the wardrobe, half the worry.

5) List it, loser
If you're super organised, like me, make a packing list. As well as making a specific list for that holiday, always list what pieces of clothing will go with other things. That well, you'll never bring that top that you think will look really good, but, err, you don't know what it will look good with.

6) Purge, baby, purge
You've got the list, you're almost ready to go. Woooooaaah, hold it tiger. Do you really need that second skirt? When you lay all of your clothes out, write another list without looking at your first list of things you think you are definitely going to wear. DEFINITELY.

You're ready to roll baby!

I hope this has been as informative for you as it has for me. I'm actually going to try that packing list next time I go away (which, err, won't be for a while because I've got stinkin' exams coming up. Bye bye fun. Sorry, this is irrelevant. But I'm spiteful)

L x

Being Cultural: Exhibitions

 After Lucy's crazy diversion off the beaten track (aka. London) yesterday, let me bring you back to what this blog is really all about (aka. London).

It is currently, for most British schools, Half Term. If you don't know what that is, it is basically a one or two week holiday that we have once a term to break up the workload a little. Half term is great and all, but one thing that sucks about it is that a lot of the time loads of your friends go away and you are left, on your lonesome, with nothing to do, at home.

Some people enjoy their own company, I believe those people are called "introverts"; if you're one of those people, good for you! However if you're one of those people who prefers being around other people, (like me) going to museums and seeing exhibitions can be a fun way to get out of the house and it makes you sound smart when reporting back to your AWOL friends.

I have, so far, been to two exhibitions in London, both of which were lovely.

1) The Little Black Jacket- Saatchi Gallery

Unfortunately, this exhibition is only showing for one week so not many people will have the opportunity to see it. The exhibition is all these photos taken by Karl Lagerfeld, of celebrities/models/icons/cool people in this one Chanel jacket (plus other clothes obviously). There are some really brilliant pictures in it and the clothes they wear make me really envious. There is also a side room in which Karl Lagerfeld's "Fire Paintings" are displayed and these are really cool photographs turned into paintings on glass panes; I wanted to touch them, but I didn't because I was worried that, if I did, I might break the exhibition and be jailed for life.  This exhibition only took about half an hour in total to go around and it's on the Kings Road, so plenty of shopping time before and after! Another bonus- every exhibition in the Saatchi Gallery doesn't cost a penny. Also, you get a free poster.

2) Hollywood Costume- V&A

I will start with the negatives of this one, to get them over and done with; it wasn't very well organised, there were hundreds of people crowding round single things and too many things to read at once. I feel like I spent too much time standing around waiting for people to move so I could see the next costume. Getting round this exhibition took about an hour and a half because of all the wasted waiting-around time and I was pretty worn out and hungry by the end of it. Anyway, apart from those couple of things, it was a fabulous thing to see- all of the costumes from the majority of my favourite movies. There were costumes from Pirates of the Caribbean, Legally Blonde, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Mamma Mia (there was also a whole section dedicated to Meryl Streep. We called it "Meryland".) and millions more The information posters were really interesting and the whole thing really opened my eyes to a whole new section of cinematography (yes, since going to the museum, I use fancy words). It was also fun seeing how skinny (or not...) some actors are, by looking at the waist size on their costumes. Something I would say is don't see this exhibition alone, I made lots of observations that I commented about to my friend throughout and without her, I wouldn't have had anyone to say "Meryl Streep got a bit chubby over the years" to etc.; in fact, I think my favourite exhibition visitors were the group of elderly ladies, all wearing pearls, who were carrying glasses of champagne and all chatting and laughing, they looked like they were having a great time (their enjoyment was not a result of the champagne, it was a result of their company with each other of course).

This one is running until the end of January 2013 so you have loads of time to go see it. Although, we may not survive until then, if the Mayans are right this time...

Also, make sure you leave a bit of time to look in the exhibition gift shop, because, even though it is highly unlikely that you will buy any of the overpriced items, there are some great accessories in there and we really enjoyed trying them all on.

I hope that this was an informative blog and it reminded you that when all your friends are travelling far and wide (New York *cough* New York) there is still life beyond the walls and comfort of your home.

If you get a chance to visit either of these exhibitions- go for it, if not, I hope you enjoyed reading about them.

M x

City Guide: New York

You're confused, I get it. You thought this was a blog about London. You are wondering if you're in the right place. Fear not, munchkin.

I know I'm super lucky to be able to go to awesome places like New York and I thought I would share my awesome experiences/shops/restaurants with you if/when you ever get the chance to go.

Food

Balthazar
http://balthazarny.com/

Somehow we always seem to find our way back to Balthazar. Booking is essential, or just beg your hotel concierge to try and get you a table. On our most recent trip, we *just* managed to get a table for 6pm. So worth it though.

Blue Smoke
http://bluesmoke.com/blue/

Let me tell you a little story about Blue Smoke. We went for my 13th birthday, because it is one of our all-time favourite New York restaurants. Slight dilemma, because I had taken a vow on vegetarianism at the time. It was short-lived, but that is irrelevant.
But I still had to eat the ribs (it's a rib shack). So I broke my vegetarianism. And no one outside my family has ever found out until this day.
PS. my vegetarianism only lasted three weeks after that delightful day.

Shake Shack
http://www.shakeshack.com/

So our last trip was our first time at Shake Shack, but now, four days later, in the comfortable safety of my own home in London, I am suffering from some serious Shake Shack withdrawal symptoms. Like a super up-market

Eileen's Cheesecake
http://www.eileenscheesecake.com/

Ok, so from the outside (and the inside), it doesn't look that flashy. I'll admit that much. But that cheesecake, oh the cheesecake. It's right by Balthazar, so if you go there, you've got no excuse. I'll be watching.

Cupcakes
If you know me, or follow me on Twitter, you will know that I'm utterly obsessed with baking. Especially cupcakes.

Magnolia Bakery
http://www.magnoliabakery.com

All time favourite, man. Sometimes I just stand there and watch the employees frost the cupcakes and then try to replicate it when I get back. No, it doesn't work.

Baked By Melissa
http://www.bakedbymelissa.com/

They're mini. I think that is simply the reason why I love them so much.
Confession time, I've never actually tried a Baked By Melissa cupcake. I've been following them on Instagram for a while now, and I passed several of their stores in New York and drooled heavily. But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. Apparently if I eat too many I'll get fat or something, according to my parents. Kill-joys...

Shops
BIGGEST ADVICE I COULD EVER GIVE ANYONE TRAVELLING TO NEW YORK COMING UP RIGHT ABOUT NOW:
Only pack half a suitcase at most. Trust me, you're going to need all the space (mainly for boxes of Lucky Charms)

Abercrombie & Fitch
http://www.abercrombie.co.uk

Look, I'm not a brand freak, but I don't see how you can pass a whole trip in New York without somehow visiting the 5th Avenue store. But what makes it such an irresistible proposal? Is it the thumping music, so loud that it deafens you? Is it the annoying girls who always ask you how you are whenever you walk in? Is it the workers that are employed to stand there and dance? Is it that they purposefully block their way?

I don't know. It's just too hard to decide.

Dean & DeLuca
http://www.deandeluca.com/

If you weren't wishing you lived in New York, a trip to this upmarket supermarket on Broadway will make you want to, simply because then you might be able to shop there. Cutest place ever.

Bloomingdales
http://www.bloomingdales.com/

I spent the whole of my 16th birthday trapsing round Broadway, looking in every single store, without much luck. Yes, parents, if you're reading this, I bought a couple of nice things, but, let's be honest, we should've just gone to Bloomingdales. When we went the day after, I bought three of the nicest things currently in my wardrobe.
It's the best department store in New York. Saks is just too expensive and, let's be honest, Macy's is crap. Head to Bloomingdales. Oh, and also, it has a Magnolia Bakery on the Ground Floor (which the Americans, for some strange reason, call Level 1. Such freaks).
Oh, and before I forget. Ask for the 10% visitors discount. Life saver.


So my list is by no means the ultimate, everyone has their favourites. In fact, if anyone has been to New York and has their favourite places to eat/shop, let me know. Hey, you could always comment, that would be nice. I'll reward you with Pop Tarts, I promise.

L x

Ridiculous Fears

Everyone has fears, hundreds of everyday fears, like spiders and the dark, but everyone also has the completely insane fears that are highly unlikely and are complete figments of their imagination. This is entirely normal. I have them, you have them, your mum has them, I bet even the Queen herself has them. Actually no, let's not bring Lizzie into this; she's perfect.
I'm sure some of the things in this post will ring large bells in your head and I'm sure there are also some blatantly obvious ones that I've missed out because I'm a moron; all the same, here are some of the ridiculous fears that I could think of:

1) Murderers under the bed
I can't even fit my hand under my bed, let alone a giant axe-wielding murderer with a team of 10 dwarf sidekicks and their respective machetes. However, in my head, they are there, every night, waiting to kill me. If I go to the bathroom in the night it is imperative that I do a giant leap from my bedroom door to my bed otherwise one of the dwarfs might be able to grab my ankles and drag me down and kill me. I know I am not the only person who feels this way.

2) Stepping in the cracks
I know that this is more of a childish fear and no-one really lives by the rule of no stepping in cracks in the road anymore, but I do occasionally find my self sub-consciously avoiding the cracks while walking around. Whether you thought that by stepping on the cracks you were somehow breaking your mother's back or when you stepped on the cracks bears would come out of the millimetre thin gaps in the pavement, as a child, stepping in the cracks in the pavement was an unacceptable and terrifying thought.

3) Toilet terrors
I may be the only one who is afraid of this one because it's pretty weird, but I feel like it should be shared all the same. Have you never worried about sitting on the toilet, especially when it's dark, and something (for some reason, in my head, it's always some sort of animal) crawling up the side of the toilet bowl? I don't know why I think this because the likeliness of this happening is next to nothing, unless fish turned into mutants and grew legs and figured out how to climb up the sewage system. I don't even want to think about that.

4) Alien invasion
I am not personally afraid of this one, but the kid that I babysit is completely convinced of this happening, and I'm sure he is not all alone in this thought. Scientists/astronauts/clever people aren't even sure if there are any life forms in space, let alone "aliens". So there is absolutely zero chance of aliens attacking Earth, abducting all the people and doing whatever aliens do with humans. However, I do not want to be rude about this fear as I am scared of monkeys climbing up the loo so...

I'm actually making myself a bit scared now, so I'm going to finish there. Sorry for the short blog today, I will write some nice long ones and so will Lucy when she gets her butt back from NYC.
Be as rude as you like about any of the above fears, but I'm sure you have thought about being killed by people hiding under your bed at least once.

M x

How to Pretend you Have Soul/How Not to be Ginger

I am ginger, in case you hadn't quite got that already, and I am proud of it. I don't mind people pointing it out because they're just stating the obvious and we already know how I feel about those kinds of people (see Nationally Hated Things) but I do mind when people say that us gingers have no soul. I'm not sure whether this has actually been scientifically proven or not, but either way, here are some ways to show that gingers (or anyone to whom it is relevant) do have souls.

1) Cry Loads

I'm not a big fan of the waterworks most of the time, but sometimes there are times when you just need to cry it out. If you are soulless, supposedly one wouldn't do this so here are some tips on how to cry:

- Look into the sun

- Think of puppies dying in the arms of poverty stricken children whose parents are being taken away from them (if that doesn't make you shed a tear then maybe you are actually soulless)

- Blink loads

- Eye drops

2) Donate Money to Charity

I know this can be hard as no-one wants to break the bank, so whenever you go out grab a few coppers and if you see any of those people that walk around with those charity money boxes- chuck 'em in; preferably the charities that give you stickers, so that your soulfulness is on display. Oh and make sure loads of people watch when you drop in those coins.

3) Let People go in front of you in Queues

I know this can be very annoying and often time consuming as once you've let one person through, immediately people assume you are a pushover who will let anyone through. However, pushovers sure do have a great soul. Ergo, you have a great soul too.

4) Visit your Grandparents

Do this at least once a weekend so you look like one of the most caring people. Also, if someone asks you to go somewhere with them say that you can't because you are going to see your Grandmother/father. Immediately that person will think you are the sweetest human and that you have a bigger soul than them, they will forget all about that time when they said gingers didn't have souls.

5) Ed Sheeran

If all else fails, just continuously remind people that Ed Sheeran is a fellow ginger and it doesn't come much less soulless that him, have you heard some of his songs?! That will make people think that you are a bit similar to Ed Sheeran and they will then reconsider their statement of you being soulless and maybe even all gingers being soulless.

You may try any of the above and I wish you luck in your soulful endeavours. However, gingers, do not dye your hair- this looks like you are surrendering to people's hair colour racism and we don't want that at all. Be proud of your gingerness, whether you actually have a soul or not.

M x

How To Be Sassy

I know what you're thinking. How can two girls, one more obviously ginger than the other one, inform me about the art of sass? The delicate art of girl power, confidence and, dare I say it, just a pinch of swag.

But here's a how to guide.

1) Join a girl group
Preferably with three members. Then sing about how no man appreciates you and how it's just soooooo much better being single (let's leave out the part about how we can't actually get boyfriends. Irrelevant)
Take Destiny's Child for example. What a group.

They managed to do it, almost without effort. Kelly (on the left, for all those not in the know) rocking the underwear as outerwear look, unleashing her inner diiiiiiiva. Then you have got Beyonce, the girl in charge. You must always have a dominant member of a girl group, creates more sass. Then you have Michelle... wait, no one actually cares about Michelle. I won't continue.
Destiny's Child has the best example of girl power music. All the gals are there for each other, pretty empowering stuff if you ask me. But, err, no one has.

If all else fails and you can't find friends cool enough to embark of the first step of sass, just start a band with two of you. I mean, Mindy and I are in a two person Destiny's Child (we decided to cut out Michelle. Waste of oxygen).

2) Break away from the girl group and create an awesome music career

An essential. The breakaway shows that you don't need no one to support you, giiiiiiirl! Next sing a song about female empowerment, and act like a feminist. But, of course, no one will think you're a feminist. They'll just think you're sassy.

I'm talking about you Beyonce.

3) Look the part

It is absolutely imperative that you give everybody the illusion that you are completely confident in your own body, even if you just want to crawl up and die (a la me).

And you're going to need to wear some kind of animal print. I don't know why, it just seems to be some unspoken sassy rule which all we sassmeisters must abide by.

4) Show them your 'tude
Ok, so here's the point where I admit that I actually know nothing about sassy-ness and have had to Google 'How To Be Sassy'. Jesus Christ Internet, 36,700,000 hits. Who knew so many people were in 'Search of the Sass'?
And apparently 'tude is terminology used frequently by only the most sassy of the sassy. So, obviously, being a vampire pale Scottish/Essex girl, I immediately included myself in the aforementioned group.
There's not much I can say about 'tude (OK IT'S ATTITUDE FOR THOSE WHO STILL HAVEN'T GOT IT), but I have a great example that I think will just sum it up.

Bring on the Lil' Mama

'tude to the extreme

5) Don't let the haters bring you down!
Haterz gonna hate, potatoz gonna potate.
Another thing Google told me was that supposedly, sassy girls are supposed to have hundreds of comebacks. Just think how much time that would take?! Ok, so stop doing your homework and stop doing it, like, ever and WORK ON THOSE COMEBACKS.
You'll be totally stupid but, hey, you'll have sass.

For example:
'Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are'
or alternatively
'Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how right I am'

And finally a sassy classic by all standards:
'Is your name Kanye West? No? Then stop interrupting me!'

And there you go. 5 Steps To Sassiness. Don't thank me, thank Google.

L x
(the sassy queen)

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

Just in case you didn't think I was special enough already; ginger, Asian, tiny; I am also a self diagnosed hypochondriac. Emphasis on the self diagnosed.
For the majority of you who don't know exactly what a hypochondriac is, Wikipedia (not always reliable though) defines it as excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness. It can actually be a very serious disorder, so I don't believe I truly have it, I don't think I have an "excessive preoccupation" about them, I just have a small obsession with various medical items. Without having a drug problem. I will attempt to explain what I mean in this blog, without you all feeling the need to get me some help.

Plasters (aka. Band-Aids)
These things are my life. I don't know what I'd do without them. I have a whole shelf in my bathroom dedicated to my plasters. Fabric plasters, waterproof plasters, blue plasters, breathable plasters, foreign plasters, big plasters, small plasters, Disney plasters... You name a type of plaster, it's most probably in there. I am currently wearing about five plasters. I put them on when I find the smallest cut, and I like to replace them regularly so I stay hygienic. In case you were wondering, fabric plasters are my favourite.


First Aid Kits
It's okay, I only have one of these, it's a very small one and it's stays in my room at all times. Inside, I have: bandages, gauze, plasters, safety pins, surgical tape, scissors, cotton wool, cotton buds and various other bits and bobs. There is also a pill box inside, but it has mints in it. Not only is my first aid kit handy and lifesaving, it is also practical because it is mini; it fits wonderfully inside my drawer. Also, I have scoped out where all of the first aid kits are situated in my school. Just in case.

Vitamin C
I don't know if you have ever tasted those effervescent vitamin C drinks that you make by putting a little tablet in a glass of water, if you have, you will probably have hated it. I love those drinks. I have at least 4 of these per week. I also take teen Vitamin C tablets and HealthSpan multivitamins. I'm pretty sure there are no actual drugs in these, although it would explain a lot if there were.

Symptoms
I'm not a general panicker, but I am huge panicker when it comes to illnesses. I will have the smallest tummy ache, and immediately think I have appendicitis, I cough once and I want to be checked for tonsillitis, I sneeze once and I definitely have the flu, you get the idea. It's like medical OCD.


They say that the first step to recovery is admittance, and I've already completed this step, so don't worry about me, I think I will get over my hypochondria and be fine soon enough.
You are probably thinking that I must never get sick, but this is not the case, I am always ill! Every bug that goes around, I catch it, I get an awful cold at least once per term. I'm very unfortunate like that. However, if every someone is sick, I am the best friend to have, because I carry various illness treatments in my school bag at all times. My friends are so lucky to have me.

M x

GBBO Final: Two Gay Men and a Scot

The tension is rising...

(I'm sorry, I had to include a baking pun somewhere along the way. I just included it ridiculously early on. Sorry if I caught you by surprise)

Right, but seriously. Let's not joke about a subject so clearly very delicate. It's a big deal to us Food Tech GCSE-ers (yes, we're out there. We're just usually hiding behind a chilled dessert or nutrition analysis profile. But we're still there)

Let's have a look at the three poor souls who are competing for the title of Britain's Best Baker. No prize is necessary (is there even a prize?) because IT'S A BIG DEAL.


Brendan

Age: 63
Most Likely To: be perfect and know it
Weird Fact: he's currently trying to bake all the breads of the world. He's 90 through

Urgh, Brendan. If you win, I'll be upset. You're just too smug. We get that you're really good at baking, we see that. Paul doesn't like you and, quite frankly, neither do I. Please don't win. But if you do, well, then, a lot of Jaffa Cakes shall be eaten to soothe my feelings.

John

Age: 23
Most Likely To: have a disaster
Weird Fact: he left his place at Oxford University

Why are you still in John? It should've been Cathryn. That is all.

James

Age: 21
Most Likely To: be seen in knitwear
Weird Fact: He has reached Grade 8 in Classical Double Bass

May you rise to the occasion James (sorry), you're totally my favourite. I mean, I may be biased because I may or may not be Scottish. But it's the combination of knitwear, the mousy/ginger hair and the fact that you're a medical student makes you weirdly attractive. I regret nothing.
Oh, and the Scottish accent helps too.

So, there they are. The three suckers. And let's not forget our judges!

There are so many things I love about this combination. The way that they compliment each other on their version of the technical challenge is almost cringe-worthy, but adorable. The way they scrape the bottom of the pastry. The soggy bottoms. The fact that neither of them clearly gain any weight throughout the process. Ahh, it's a match made in heaven. Mary is such a cougar.

I actually met Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood last month and she actually signed my cook book. I mean, can you believe that? A cook book signed by Mary Berry. Dying.

What is it that makes me love the Bake Off so much? Is it because I bake myself? Is it Mary's incredible sense of style? Is it Mel and Sue? Is it Paul's ruthless attacks on poor, innocent bakers? I just don't know. But I will be tuning in for the final and I will most definitely be tuning in next series.

(It is actually the scrummy baked goods that convince me to watch)

L x

Nationally Hated Things

In the world, people hate lots of different things; everyone has their pet peeves, which is totally normal. However, there are also the things that everyone dislikes with mutual passion, you may not even think about them until you come across them, but they are most definitely hated when one does; here are the ones I could think of:

1) Ketchup Water
Picture this: it is such a nice day, your family has decided to have a barbecue, your burger is so beautifully cooked you are crying, you have a brand new bottle of ketchup, you unscrew the lid and take the metal film off the bottle, you screw the lid back on flip open the cap and aim over your burger, you squeeze and out comes some beautiful... ORANGE WATER. We have all experienced the nightmare of ketchup water, a product of unshaken tomato ketchup. It can even happen sometimes when you've shaken the bottle. Life is so difficult and unfair.

2) Slow Walkers
It always happens: you are in a rush, you have to walk somewhere in two minutes when it usually takes you 5 to get to that place, so you are walking super fast, you are doing so well, nearly there, it's just down the road and you come across the dreaded slow walker. Slow walkers are very common in London, maybe it's all the air pollution getting to their feet and making them move at a snails pace, or maybe they were just born annoying. Once you have come across your slow walker, you then have to walk at their pace because they are so in the way that you aren't able to meander past them; resulting in you being late to wherever you were going.

3) Grape Conmen
Everyone buys seedless grapes. Everyone. Why, in your right mind, would you buy grapes with seeds? However, on numerous occasions, I have had a box of seedless grapes and about 60% of my grapes have seeds in. Not only are grape seeds bitter tasting and disgusting, but they stay in between your teeth for hours afterwards. Seedless grapes are actually more expensive than regular seedful grapes, so when I come across these deceitful "seedless" grapes, not only does the grossness of the seeds anger me, but it makes me mad that my mum (or whoever bought them) paid an extra pound or so to have grapes with no seeds, only to get grapes that are full of seeds.

4) Adverts on Youtube
I don't think I actually need to explain this. It isn't so awful when you get the option to skip the ad after 5 seconds, but sometimes you have to sit through the most boring advert for a couple of minutes before actually being able to watch your desired content. The worst thing is when you're listening to a playlist on Youtube and you are waiting for the next song and you hear "The new collection from SimplyBe!..." Not okay.

5) Couldn't Think of a Title for This One
I'm sure that everyone must have come across this at least once in their life- you have done some sort of exam and everyone has just received their results. You are really really pleased with your 67% seeing as you thought you were going to fail so you are feeling pretty chuffed. One friend is looking really sad so you go up to console him/her and they tell you how "75% is not good enough! It's sooo bad!!", you slowly lose faith in your mark that you were really proud of and then your sad friend says "What did you get?". You tell them and immediately they exclaim "OMG that is soo good! Well done!". Sometimes the awfulness just ends there because you say thanks and walk away, other times (when you're feel mouthy) you respond with "but you just said 75 was bad" and then (here comes the killer) your "friend" says, "yeah but, 67 is good.. for you." Those people deserve a punch.

6) Running out of Toilet Paper
This is mainly a problem when you are using public conveniences. You are bursting for a pee, so you don't look before you sit down and once you're done.. it is too late. Sometimes you are fortunate enough to have a friend waiting outside the cubicle for you and you can subtly ask them to pass you some loo roll, but if you went into the bathroom completely alone, you are stumped. There is nothing to do in this situation. Horrible.

7) People Who State the Obvious
This isn't such a majorly hated thing, it is just very irritating and not everyone is aware of it. I'll admit that I have, once or twice, stated the obvious; but there are some people who literally do it all the time. Like "it's raining!" "You're wearing shoes!" "You're drinking water!" "Blue!" "Orange!". I know, I have eyes too. Would you like a medal for your observation skills?

8) Downers
There is always someone that loves to put a negative spin on everything you do or say. For example, you walk in one Monday morning and tell your friends "Guess what! I got a puppy!" and the negative person will inevitably say something like "Puppies poo on your carpet and then they grow up into big dogs, and then they get older and die". No exaggeration. Do those people take pleasure in ruining your happiness?

I'm going to stop there because I don't want people thinking I am a hateful person because I'm really not. However, if you think about it you will realise that you also hate these things, along with everybody else.

Mx

BOOKS: Ratings and Hatings!

So if you didn't already think we were lethargic losers, we also read books.
We thought we would share some of our opinions of our favourite books, as well as the ones we weren't quite so keen on. Because, you know, our opinion is so highly valued in the world of literature.

RATINGS

Perfume - Patrick Suskind

So technically, I'm still currently reading this, but it's such a fabulous book that I had to write about it. I originally watched the film with my dad who insisted that it was an appropriate father daughter bonding film. Wrong. Yes, it's a little bit messed up and a little bit confusing. But that's part of its charm... Need I mention that the fabulous Ben Whishaw plays Grenouille?! Oh, and it also stars Alan Rickman and Dustin Hoffman. Are you still reading.... no, you've gone out to rent the movie. HALT! Read the book first.




The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I hate to admit this, but the first time I read Gatsby, I wasn't enthralled. It was my GCSE English text and the several months pouring over the symbolism behind every single sentence was a little bit excessive for me. Sorry. But now I can appreciate what a genius Fitzgerald was!
Admit it, you want to be Daisy Buchanan, just a little bit. Just a tiny weeny weeeeeeny bit.





The Fault In Our Stars - John Green

If you don't know who John Green in, stop having a social life. You won't need it any more. One half of the fabulous VlogBrothers, he also writes books, all of which are incredible. Looking For Alaska is probably his most well known, but this is my ultimate favourite. In fact, it's currently competing for the (not-so) prestigious title of my favourite book.
I  just love it. I don't really have enough time to sit down and read for hours, but I read this book in one sitting. Unheard of. It made me laugh and it most certainly made me cry.
(Credits to my darling friend Emma for recommending it. I'm a changed person)


The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides

Once again, recommended by Emma. I guess she's a book fiend.
I don't know what to say about it. I really liked it, I liked all the characters and how the book was so different to other things I have read. The family unit was so weird and so fascinating. It was so creepy, so eery and so mysterious. Oh my god, Eugenides, you genius.





HATINGS

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

I'm sorry, I'm probably committing one of the great crimes of literature, but I just didn't like it. Actually, I despised it. Tolstoy wasted three valuable weeks of my life and I want them back.
It was just faaaaaaaaar too long to make it even vaguely enjoyable. Someone should have sacked Tolstoy's editor because he clearly wasn't doing a very good job. Levin as the co-protagonist was so irrelevant and unnecessary.
(Oh, and I don't like Keira Knightley films. And what?)





Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - Amy Chua

There had been so much coverage and controversy about this book that I knew I had to read it. For those living under a rock, read this. It's basically about how Chinese parenting techniques are better than the American approach.
But I didn't like the book. Probably because I am neither a mother nor American. Slight problem.
It was just like a really long newspaper article. But I guess the print was a little bigger and there was no style section to accompany it.





I hope I've managed to give you some book ideas. I may make this a monthly thing as I have too many books that I love (might stop doing the hatings bit, I actually like 99.7% of books I read. It's just you Anna Karenina).
I love these books, and hopefully you will too, if you don't love them already.

On a side note, I have an account with Goodreads, a book social networking site (LAAAAAME). But be my friend? I clearly don't have many. You can find me here.

L x

Fro-Yo isn't just an ice cream alternative, it's a life choice

I remember the first frozen yogurt experience I ever had.

Do you?

It was a Snog. Some Saturday Afternoon in November '08. Small Classic with strawberries and chocolate hearts. Call me keen, but I've been hooked ever since.

Snog
http://www.ifancyasnog.com/
You never forget your first. And I cannot forget all the amazingly attractive people that work there. It seems as if the people that apply for Hollister/Abercrombie/Gilly Hicks (phwoar) also apply for Snog.
At Snog Covent Garden, there's a Tom Cruise lookalike. You may be thinking 'gross'. NO. Think again. It's not just Tom Cruise, IT'S TOM CRUISE IN TOP GUN.

Worth the horrendous trip to Covent Garden (and the even more horrendous assault course through the tube station) just to see this beautiful sight.

Pinkberry
http://www.pinkberry.com/
Having only just arrived in London last summer, I have only visited Pinkberry a couple of times at both of their London locations, but can we all just take a minute to appreciate it?
It seems that us Londoners are notoriously greedy and stingy at the same time, but Pinkberry lets me unleash my inner greedy munchkin. Unlimited toppings if you pay the 'topping price'? Sounds good to me.

Samba Swirl
http://www.sambaswirl.co.uk/
Representing the local!
Dear Samba Swirl,
I know what we've got hasn't been going on for long. But I simply love the freedom in our relationship. You let me pick and choose exactly what I want. And I want all your toppings (except chocolate covered raisins, I don't want to be eating rabbit poop).
Will you go steady with me?
Signed,
A fro-yo addict

Frae
http://www.frae.co.uk/
My least favourite of my favourite fro-yo chains. Sorry babe, your yogurt is just a little too creamy. But I like your colour scheme.

So those are my favourites. Don't even consider going anywhere else. Sometimes you come across really dodgy looking frozen yogurt shops, which usually double as internet cafes. I warn you, DO NOT ENTER. Do not be lured by their flashing sign saying 'Cheap Frozen Yoghurt . It is a mistake. A mistake, I tell you. As big as the mistake made by Brad when he dumped JenAn.
Just walk away.

I love you fro-yo shops, seriously I do, but sometimes I can't afford you. You strip me of every single penny to my name and then I go home, read a Jane Austen novel in the bath and cry a bit. Not cool, fro-yo.

So I've started making my own! (NOTE: I am not claiming that this recipe will ever be as good as the frozen yogurt in shops. Mainly because I feel like a princess in a fro-yo shop and my mother makes me clean up after myself in the kitchen)

DIY Frozen Yogurt
(You will need an ice cream machine. If you don't own one, what are you doing with your life?)

Makes about 1 litre
3 cups Greek-style yoghurt
2/3 cups sugar

Mix together the yoghurt and sugar. Stir until the sugar is completely dissolved and refrigerate for one hour. Freeze in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's instructions (my ice cream machine stops automatically when it is frozen. How faaaaancy.)

And that's it. Frozen yoghurt.
Learn it. Love it. Live it.

L x