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| Insert Awkward reference here, obviously |
'Baby It's Cold Outside'
Listen to the lyrics of the song.
Think of date rape.
Listen to the lyrics of the song again.
We couldn't post the original video, sung by Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews, because it scarred us too much and we wouldn't want to impose that on anybody else. (Again, you're welcome)
But really, watch ahead. Viewer discretion advised. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Special mention should go to Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey for making a creepy song even more disturbing. We're not saying that this cover was the reason for their ridiculously upsetting divorce, but they never denied it either.
Destiny's Child '8 Days of Christmas'
Don't get us wrong, we absolutely adore this song and all that Beyoncé, Kelly (and Michelle) brought to the table during their reign, but the concept of the song is just a tad weird.
Like, is this the song about the less generous boyfriend that bought his shawty cars and dirty denim jeans for the first 8 days of Christmas but then abandoned the final four days. Awkard breakup? Probably Michelle's fault.
Chris Brown 'This Christmas'
'Nuff said
Justin Bieber 'Drummer Boy'
Busta Rhymes came out of hibernation for this? His rap is almost incomprehensible and it is unforgivable to mention Twitter twice in a Christmas song.
Attention must be drawn to the creepy part when Biebs says "glow" for about 5 minutes. It's a good thing JB is retiring so we'll never have to hear his dodgy rapping ever again.
N Sync 'Merry Christmas Happy Holidays'
WE LOVE YOU NSYNC COME BACK TO US.
But srsly guiz, did you have to? You are a group of four grown white men, you will never be able to sound like a gospel choir, don't even try.
We lusm though.
East 17 'Stay Another Day'
This is the best song of all time, let alone Xmas song. But the video. My god, the video.
It's like the producers had just discovered Windows Movie Maker and East 17 themselves had just discovered ski jackets. It is so weird. What's with all the zooming and that random veiled lady that occasionally pops up?
Shout out to the one with the dodgy teeth who wore a baseball cap under his furry hood throughout the whole video.
David Hasselhoff - The Night Before Christmas album
Special mention to 'Feliz Navidad'. There is something undeniably creepy about the Hoff and he doesn't quite capture the festive vibe. Not for us at least. Maybe hairy stomached men are your type.
Steps 'Merry X-Mas Everybody'
This song is so Steps, it's unreal. They've taking a well known classic xmas tune, auto-tuned themselves into it and added a strong drum machine backing track; ie. They have Stepsicised it.
This song is great but you should just listen to the original.
Shout out to the robot who sings a bit in the middle.
TOWIE cast 'Last Christmas'
Where to begin with this one...
The talking... (especially the awful bit with Mario and Lucy) (and the lovely "I can't wait to get my christmas vajazzle" from Sam)
The flashbacks to episodes... (in black and white nonetheless)
The fact none of them can sing.... (Don't even try Gemma)
All of it really.
It's also so weird that barely any of the Essex residents in the music video are in the show anymore.
Disney Channel - The Greatest Hits
This isn't just one song. It's a whole album of Christmas songs from the OG Disney kids. And Billy Ray Cyrus.
Special mentions to Kyle Massey's Hip Hop Carol and the Jonas Brothers' bizarrely titled 'Girl of My Dreams'.
So there you have it. The 10 dodgiest Christmas songs/covers of all time.
We hope you have a brilliant Christmas filled with all sorts of wonderful, and less wonderful, songs.
The two of us are going to try and make a big effort in 2014 to blog regularly without the interval of 8 months...
M and L x (yes, we did this one together)
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