An Ode To Brunch

To say that I liked brunch would be a massive understatement. I love brunch almost as much as I love the  fact that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are now both single (though it sucks for Flynn and romantics everywhere, I think I could easily bag either of them. No? Ok...), Yes, I really like brunch. Honestly, what is not to love about brunch? You get to eat bacon,  A LOT OF BACON at the slightly later hour that brunch requires. You get to natter and catch up with friends. You get to stuff your face because it's two meals right?!

Did I mention you get to eat bacon?!

At first, I was of the naive assumption that you could brunch with anyone. I believed that this was a food-focused event and the company was only there to stop you eating your bacon alone and tell you politely that you've had enough to eat. But how wrong I was.

Your brunch crew is a fundamental component of a good bruncheon. Take a leaf out of the book of the girls from Sex and the City and brunch with your closest friends who you don't necessarily see a lot. Then, you've got a lot to catch up on and the light chit-chat is the perfect accompaniment for eating too much. Let's be real here, you've really got to know the special people. It can't just be anyone. I would even be wary of going to brunch with a member of the opposite sex. What if they don't appreciate the sanctity of brunch and all that it entails? I'm just saying, be careful, folks.

Now, I wouldn't consider myself to be the ultimate expert on the best brunch locations in London, because I am sure that there are some hidden gems that me and my friends are yet to discover. But I thought I'd share with you some of my favourite brunch locations around the city.

Bill's
A classic choice. A branch of Bill's can be throughout London, such as Chiswick, Richmond, Wimbledon, Kensington and Islington, and also outside of London in locations such as Bath and Oxford. So you're never too far from a Bill's and those incredible blueberry pancakes.

VQ
YOU CAN GET PANCAKES 24 HOURS A DAY!!!! Yes, this is a 24 hour brunch spot in the heart of Chelsea so there is really no excuse not to brunch.

Muriel's Kitchen
Because it is just a stone's throw away from South Kensington station, Muriel's is the perfect place to meet up with friends before heading off shopping to burn off all those well-deserved brunch calories.

Upsy Daisy Bakery
Anyone special in my life gets taken to the Upsy Daisy Bakery as a sort of initiation into the proper elite. It's one of those tucked away gems that no one really knows about, but it's everything you would want from a casual brunch. I love it.

The Riding House Cafe
I'll admit it, I've never actually visited this brunch haven, but the little green monster within me summons itself every time someone I know hashtags #ridinghousecafe on Instagram. I'm jealous, ok?

Dishoom
Another one that I haven't visited for brunch, but I can vouch for their bombay-style evening menu. The evening food was absolutely delicious, even if it is one of those 'trendy' no-book places. If their brunch is half as good as the rest of it, I'm sure it's a real treat.



Continuing with my life-long dream of being a part of a John Hughes movie, I would like to suggest a sort of gang. Much like 'The Breakfast Club'.

But instead. 'The Brunch Club'...

Applications will be accepted from early 2014 with a formal interview being conducted shortly thereafter.

L x

What Disney Villains Make us Think About the Royal Family

I don't actually think that any of the following things were intentional. Yes, Walt Disney was a wee bit on the racist side but, as far as we know, he wasn't anti-monarchist as well. Perhaps we should thaw him and ask.

Chances are, (slightly) overweight females will steal your voice and try to marry your man

Those with freaky headwear will put you into a long sleep with their knitting tools

Likes animals? Wants to kill your dad

If they have wispy hair, there is no doubt that they have ulterior motives to do with wearing all the dalmatians as coats

If he's balding he probably has no qualms about catnapping

The fact that he has long dark hair and a moustache directly correlates with him being a pirate and hating children in pyjamas 

The likeness is uncanny though

Always be suspicious about the pretty, brunette new girl

PEOPLE WITH ENGLISH ACCENTS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED!!!!!

Agh crap... that's awkward

But don't worry, there'll always be a trusty ginger around to kick butt and save their family

My damage here is done. (My imagination is so weird)
M x

PS. I lusm the queen

How To Be More Like Kate Middleton: The Royal Guide

I have only three main goals/resolutions for the looming year ahead and they are as follows:

1. To become better at decision making (blaming my indecisiveness on my star sign - Libra's are supposedly rubbish at making important choices)
2. Read 25 quality books
3. Be more like Kate Middleton

I'm not even joking with the last one. Kate Middleton is far from being short of admirers, and, without exaggerating, I certainly believe that we could all learn a thing or two from her. Buzz Feed even published an article yesterday titled '27 Times Kate Middleton Proved She Was The Most Flawless Human in 2013'

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else...

This woman can really do no wrong. She has a baby - she looks good. She goes to boring events - she looks good. She stands next to Prince Harry - she looks good. So, in 2014, it is my aim, no, my duty, to be a bit more like Kate Middleton. If you decide to be a copy cat, follow my decisive guide to being just a smidgen more like Her Royal Highness.

(Being decisive and following in K-Middy's footsteps. Killing two resolutions with one stone before 2014 has even begun. Kicking butt already, I like it.)

The Hair
Can we just stand back and appreciate how Kate Middleton's hair always remains beautifully wavy without falling flat? In my quest to be more like my dearest princess, I bought some large curling tongs so I too could get the oh-so typical Kate waves.

HA. HA. HA. Good one.

I think the curlers thought that they could trick me, because basically achieving any type of wave that is acceptable to leave the house in is very difficult indeed. And when it does go vaguely right, it is so momentous that it requires at least 15 selfies and a Snapchat to everyone you know.

Can I also just say that it's a really nice colour?

The fashion
Because I'm not a mega-millionaire/not everyone would bend over backwards for a lock of my hair, I can't afford Kate's stylish yet demure wardrobe, I'm going to have to try and re-create sophistication on a much smaller budget. Tips to consider:

• There is no outfit that a jacket cannot improve
• Princesses can wear jeans
• A hat can improve an outfit. However, there is a strict line between fascinating (tried to make a hat joke. Failed to make a hat joke) and Princess Beatrice and Eugenie.
• Being pregnant is no excuse for slacking in the style department (hopefully this will not be a problem for me in 2014. Well, apart from this post-Christmas food baby)

The Make-Up
Such a perfect human being probably does not need any physical adjustments, but those she makes just bring out the little green monster in me. Once again, her access to the best brands definitely have an involvement in the angelic glow-y quality of her skin. Ethereal even.

She doesn't over-do it on the make-up, coz she's a princess lyk, but always takes a tip from yours truly (or so I let myself believe) by always using just a touch of eye-liner to emphasise the eyes.

Of course, for a more comprehensive guide, follow this WikiHow on how you can replicate K-Middy's make-up at home. I tried to find a guide complete with cheesy, absurd stock images... but, alas, with little avail. This one will have to suffice.

The Smile

SMILE AND WAVE, KATE. SMILE AND WAVE.

Well, I mean, apparently it's down to thousands of pounds spent on dental whitening, but it's nothing that cannot be replicated at home. Easily available, whitening shampoo or an at-home whitening kit will be needed.

But, more importantly, the trick is to know when to smile. To keep things simple, just smile when out in public. It's what Her Royal Highness would do.

The Work
Even managed to divide this one into two sub-sections. I'm pretty fancy. Much like Kate.

Education - She became even more sophisticated in my mind when I realised that she studied History of Art at St Andrews University. It just seems like a sophisticated subject.
So, to be more like her, ditch all of your true ambitions and do History of Art. It may bag you a prince.

Charity work - Yes, she probably has to get involved to keep up the image and whatever. But, she does genuinely seem like she cares and is passionate about what she gets involved with and wants to use her status to make a difference. So why not, in 2014, aim to better yourself by trying to better the lives of others.
Now that's a thought.



Right now, I may be more 'The Princess Diaries' than the Royal Princess, but we can all hope/pray that by the end of 2014 I am just a little bit more sophisticated/classy/princess-y.
Keep me in your New Year's prayers
L x

The 5 Best New TV Shows of 2013

Bates Motel
This show is the perfect mix of scary and... I lie, it's just plain scary. But brilliant. It has Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp version) and the blonde boy from Nancy Drew in it; what more could you possibly want form a TV show?
Yes, this show does have its creepy aspects (murder... taxidermy...) but the plot is excellent. I haven't even seen Psycho, the movie this series is a prequel to, but I really enjoy seeing the earlier lives of Norma and Norman Bates unfold.
Luckily for me, we will get a second season of this show in the Summer. Yay!


Twisted
I was pleasantly surprised by this show. I was kind of expecting it to be rubbish, ABC Family don't exactly have the greatest track record (The Lying Game, The Fosters...) and I was apprehensive about seeing Beck from Victorious play any other role than Beck from Victorious. However, this show is genuinely good and Beck from Victorious is a really talented actor. Of course, it has its faults: Jo, one of the main trio, is so annoying; some storylines are poorly explained as well, but we only saw half of the first season in the Summer so hopefully all will be revealed in January when the rest of the season is aired. I'm pumped.



Orphan Black
I cannot put the genius and amazingness of this show into words. This show is too good. I'm pretty sure Tatiana Maslany is the greatest actress of all time. She is Canadian but her English accents (yes she does multiple types of English accent) and her Russian accent are flawless. The idea is incredible and the way the story unfolds in this pilot season is amazing.
I cannot wait for the second season.


Camp
This show was so good! The characters were so loveable and I genuinely looked forward to each episode from one week to the next.
Unfortunately NBC and the American viewers did not have the same sentiments as me because the show has been cancelled and will not get a second season. Sadness.


Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
I still haven't actually watched every episode of this show but I've seen about half of the episodes and I really enjoyed them, when I get some spare time I will finish the season. The show's premise is a really good one, everyone loves Marvel and we can all unanimously agree that Agent Coulson was the best thing about the Avengers movie. Spoiler alert: he doesn't die in the Avengers.
The worst thing about this show is the super cringy British genius duo who say such lame things and seem a bit useless, to be honest.
So far, there isn't much of a continuing plotline but that could just be because their still in the introductory period. Unfortunately, we will never get to know this show because it isn't getting another season.


It may look like I've written about every new show of 2013, but that is not the case. I missed out quite a big 'un:
Ravenswood. Worst spin-off series ever. I really hope ABC Family comes to their senses and returns Caleb to Pretty Little Liars soon.
This is obviously all my opinion, you may have hated all of the shows I loved and adored Ravenswood.

That's enough from the TV addict. I cannot wait for all the new shoes we'll see in 2014.
M x

Thing That Make you Stop Following Someone on Twitter

I like to keep the number of accounts that I follow between about 143-147 at all times which means that whenever I follow someone, I also unfollow someone else. To choose whom to unfollow I look for certain points in their tweets/bio, here are some of them:

1) Too Many Tweets
I'm talking to you Joey Essex. It's not exactly like his life is riveting. We see all the good bits on TOWIE.
Seriously, there is no need to update us on every little thing you do, just the exciting things (which is only everything if you are one of the characters in Pretty Little Liars).

For these emotional anecdotes and more: @JoeyEssex_

Those bananas are gross.

2) Too Much Ranting
At the end of the day, most people use twitter to find out what the celebs have been up to; their eating habits, what they fed their dogs etc.
I appreciate that it is a good place to get your point of view out there but seriously, people who write those tweets all about respecting their family and how they would never disrespect their fans are not my faves. Especially when those tweets are so long that they have to write 3 tweets in order to convey their point. It's boring. If you really need to say those things, start a blog.
Also, we get you're angry, no need for all the CAPITALS and exclamation marks!!!!!

All this and more from @khloekardashian (and the other Kardashians)

3) Zero Humour
It is very important that one has a mildly funny Twitter bio. For example, your biography is not a good place to put links to your instagram account and it is in no way smart to write your BBM Pin here; at the same time, when I say funny I mean original and actually humorous  for example, a certain TV actress put "I play the main character in **** ** *****" in her bio (I starred out the show name just in case she reads our blog), I'm assuming she was trying to be funny but it's awkward because she is probably the 3rd main character so it could also be assumed that she is on way too high of a horse and thinks she's the actual main character. Also, those lame ones that say something like "140 characters is not enough" are not okay either. Something witty about your love of cats is always appreciated.
Make your tweets funny too, tweets that actually make me laugh out loud are the best. For a celebrity who gets the balance between humorous and sweet just right look to Jennette McCurdy (@JennetteMcCurdy). Her Vines are also comic genius.

4) Grammar Errors and Spelling Mistakes
It is no secret here that I am somewhat of a grammar freak, the "you and I"/"you and me" thing bothers me when people are talking so you can imagine the way that I pull at my hair when I see tweets including mistakes such as:
"I would of done this..."
"Wear are you going?"
"Your wearing a really nice dress today, Kim Kardashian"
The latter could also be an error of judgement because Kimmy K's clothing has been questionable since... forever.
Then there's the spelling mistake. So easy to do, yet such dire consequences.
Not sure what aspect of custard and sticky toffee pudding put pressure on my favourite tweeter Joey Essex but at least the custard was ready to serve. Also, bummer about only having two night horses, I guess he must have wanted three...

And poor Sarah Hyland, she was just a tiny bit tired, accidentally made a small grammatical/spelling error
and her "fans" immediately picked up on it.

5) Indirects
For those of you who don't know what indirects are, it is when someone tweets something that is so obviously about someone else. It is just about the most passive aggressive dig out there. You never tag the person that you're subliminally talking about in the tweet but somehow they find it, work out it's about them, and then reply indirectly leading to a full on indirect twitter war.
They are so so so so so annoying and unnecessary, if you have a problem with someone tell it to them anonymously on ask.fm (just kidding, that's cyber-bullying. Please don't do that.)

Some stellar examples that I had too much fun finding

6) Excessive Vanity
This is more of an instagram thing but seriously people, you wouldn't post a selfie if you really thought it was #digsusting and that you are #sougly, would you?
Plus, attaching a really pouty selfie with a tweet that has nothing to do with your appearance is just weird and unnecessary.

I realise that this post might just look like one giant indirect message to various people that I follow on twitter but that is what this blog is for. Basically.
I hope that I am not the only one who dislikes the above things and I don't look like a massive twitter hater now because I'm really not.

M x

The 10 Dodgiest Christmas Songs Of All Time

Sadly, not everyone can be a Michael Bublé and be able to sum up Christmas spirit using his sweet vocal chords. For our returning post (sorry), because it is only five days until Santa comes and because we are horribly cynical, we have created a compilation of the 10 most bizarre Christmas songs/covers out there. You're welcome.

Insert Awkward reference here, obviously

'Baby It's Cold Outside'

Listen to the lyrics of the song.

Think of date rape.

Listen to the lyrics of the song again.

We couldn't post the original video, sung by Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews, because it scarred us too much and we wouldn't want to impose that on anybody else. (Again, you're welcome) 

But really, watch ahead. Viewer discretion advised. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Special mention should go to Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey for making a creepy song even more disturbing.  We're not saying that this cover was the reason for their ridiculously upsetting divorce, but they never denied it either. 

Destiny's Child '8 Days of Christmas'
Don't get us wrong, we absolutely adore this song and all that Beyoncé, Kelly (and Michelle) brought to the table during their reign, but the concept of the song is just a tad weird.
Like, is this the song about the less generous boyfriend that bought his shawty cars and dirty denim jeans for the first 8 days of Christmas but then abandoned the final four days. Awkard breakup? Probably Michelle's fault.

Chris Brown 'This Christmas'

'Nuff said

Justin Bieber 'Drummer Boy'
Busta Rhymes came out of hibernation for this? His rap is almost incomprehensible and it is unforgivable to mention Twitter twice in a Christmas song.
Attention must be drawn to the creepy part when Biebs says "glow" for about 5 minutes. It's a good thing JB is retiring so we'll never have to hear his dodgy rapping ever again.

N Sync 'Merry Christmas Happy Holidays'
WE LOVE YOU NSYNC COME BACK TO US.
But srsly guiz, did you have to? You are a group of four grown white men, you will never be able to sound like a gospel choir, don't even try.
We lusm though.

East 17 'Stay Another Day'
This is the best song of all time, let alone Xmas song. But the video. My god, the video.
It's like the producers had just discovered Windows Movie Maker and East 17 themselves had just discovered ski jackets. It is so weird. What's with all the zooming and that random veiled lady that occasionally pops up?
Shout out to the one with the dodgy teeth who wore a baseball cap under his furry hood throughout the whole video.

David Hasselhoff - The Night Before Christmas album
Special mention to 'Feliz Navidad'. There is something undeniably creepy about the Hoff and he doesn't quite capture the festive vibe. Not for us at least. Maybe hairy stomached men are your type.

Steps 'Merry X-Mas Everybody' 
This song is so Steps, it's unreal. They've taking a well known classic xmas tune, auto-tuned themselves into it and added a strong drum machine backing track; ie. They have Stepsicised it.
This song is great but you should just listen to the original.
Shout out to the robot who sings a bit in the middle.

TOWIE cast 'Last Christmas'
Where to begin with this one...
The talking... (especially the awful bit with Mario and Lucy) (and the lovely "I can't wait to get my christmas vajazzle" from Sam)
The flashbacks to episodes... (in black and white nonetheless)
The fact none of them can sing.... (Don't even try Gemma)
All of it really.
It's also so weird that barely any of the Essex residents in the music video are in the show anymore.

Disney Channel - The Greatest Hits
This isn't just one song. It's a whole album of Christmas songs from the OG Disney kids. And Billy Ray Cyrus.
Special mentions to Kyle Massey's Hip Hop Carol and the Jonas Brothers' bizarrely titled 'Girl of My Dreams'.

So there you have it. The 10 dodgiest Christmas songs/covers of all time.

We hope you have a brilliant Christmas filled with all sorts of wonderful, and less wonderful, songs.
The two of us are going to try and make a big effort in 2014 to blog regularly without the interval of 8 months...

M and L x (yes, we did this one together)