'Your teenage years will be the best of your life'
I'm calling it. The teenage years SUCK (What To Expect When You're Expecting Reference there. Anyone get it? No? Ok, let's move on). I don't really know what I was expecting it to be like as I lay in bed on the night before my 13th birthday but, lets be honest, it probably was a lot like Katy Perry's 'Teenage Dream' with just a dash of awesome fashion sense and flowing, golden, shiny locks. Oh, and throw in just a smidgen of Mika's 'We Are Golden'. Because I wore leg warmers and thought I was born into the wrong era at the age of thirteen. Should've been an 80's child.
In fact, on halloween when I was thirteen, when the rest of the 13 year old population were dressing up as witches and the odd few that dressed up as slutty nurses (we all know those people), I dressed up as an 80's fairy. Leg warmers, bright eye shadow and all.
Alas, how wrong I was. I've spent the past three years working my butt off with so little social interaction they should probably lock me up in a psych ward. For five days a month I feel as if I'm being punched in my stomach and my money resources are being drained by Feminax and hair dye. I am dependant on caffeine to get me through the day and I've stopped growing. Actually, scrap that, the doctor told me that I have actually shrunk. Yes, shrunk.
And yeah, sometimes the future can seem exciting. You know, university, growing up, starting a family. Until you realise that university will leave you with debt for years, growing up will mean you can no longer use your parents as sources of food/money/cuddles and starting a family will mean sleepless nights and a strain on your already depleted financial resources (see university). The futures bright. (The futures Orange)
But hey, I know there are two sides to every story and I'll admit I'm being a bit of a Negative Nancy. Admittedly, I can know buy sparklers, liqueur chocolates and get married (see Crazy Things You Can Do At 16), but *puts angry cap back on*, that doesn't even compare with the hideous amounts of responsibility that come with growing up. I know millions, even billions of people have passed the age of sixteen and seem to be behaving as relatively sane human beings, but it doesn't seem like this will ever pass.
I have defined this current phase as my Quarter Life Crisis. Let me explain. Every evening I need a hot chocolate. And by need, I mean, NEED. I shuffle round, back hunched, head down and I think I'm turning into an old lady. I buy old lady shoes, I tut at disrespectful members of society and I've developed a recent obsession for Werther's Originals. And Pointless seems to be my current programme of choice, classic.
So yes. To summarise:
- GCSEs suck (especially IGCSES. don't get me started)
- Life becomes impossible without coffee and hot chocolate
- I'm an old lady in a teenagers body
L x
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