How to Survive Exams

So I'm sure that many of you, like me and Lucy, have just had exams of one type or another. Therefore, you will know that the examination period is not a fun one and can be pretty tough; frantically cramming 10 minutes before every exam, worried when you need to pee during one of them, running out of water halfway through- all the kind of traumas you experience during this stressful time.
To reduce the worrying and nail biting a little, I have come up with a few ways to help you in surviving exams.

1) Go to the bathroom immediately before every exam

This is very important as it greatly decreases the chances of you needing to use the conveniences during an exam, when all of your time should be spent working on getting as close to full marks as possible; needing to pee is very distracting and actually going to do so wastes valuable time.

If you know that you have an exam at 11.45, go to the loo at 11.35ish, for example. If you absolutely have to go, run to the water closet and back but you may have to forfeit hand washing, I'm sorry.

Weird talk over... Promise it won't happen again.

2) Wear comfortable clothes

If you were in the fortunate position of being allowed to wear your own clothing during your exam weeks then it is very important that you adhere to this point.

Shoes with any form of heel are a big no-no, if you are (like me) someone that likes to sit on your feet then imagine how uncomfortable you would be if you were basically sitting on blocks of wood. Optimum footwear would be Uggs or Converse.

Best form of legwear is leggings because you don't necessarily have to look majorly slobby wearing these (like you would in trackies) and they are comfortable and allow you to move around, plus jeans can be uncomfortable and have itchy labels.

Side note- don't wear puffy coats that make massive amounts of noise whenever you move your arms and distract and annoy the person sitting behind you (sorry Lucy).

3) Arrive on time

There is nothing worse than going into an exam already stressed out and frazzled about other things, this is induced greatly by arriving to an exam a tiny bit late and making everyone else in the exam hall wait for you. Teachers will be less than impressed with you and you may receive some judgemental and exasperated looks when you finally enter. This will not put you in your happy place, which is where you need to be for exams. Plus then all your friends are completely entitled to blame you if they don't do as well as they would like in the exam that you held them up in.

4) Don't be tired

The obvious way of ensuring that you aren't knackered prior to sitting an exam is by getting a good night's sleep the night before, however, I know how hard this can be when you know that you have a greatly nerve-racking 2 and a half hour history exam the next day (or something similar), but there are other ways of staying awake.

What you eat can help (less Dairy Milk, more spinach), drink loads of water, Starbucks in the morning can help, have snacks and eat 3 whole meals. Good? Semi-health lecture over.

5) Water

Even though this will inevitably make you need to go to the bathroom, water is a good thing to have with you during exams if you drink it sporadically in small volumes. Try to have water bottles that make the least noise when you open and drink out of them (*cough* Lucy) and be careful not to spill any on your paper!

6) Actually Revise...

It's nice going into an exam knowing that you will be able to give reasonable answers to every question that you will be asked. This is not a feeling commonly experienced by yours truly but I've heard it's great. Suss out how you learn things best (notes, reading, mind-maps, whatever) and really drill the facts.

I hope you appreciate how teachers' Powerpoint that picture is.

There is no way that your exam experience will be fun, easy and carefree because they're not meant to be, but hopefully following the above guidelines will help to ease the experience a tiny bit.

If the above are no help and you fail every exam you can always try this one:

7) Bribe Your Teachers
I find cakes and other baked goods work best especially if you are a talented baker but I know that money also works.
Good luck if you are receiving any results these coming weeks!

M x

The Phenomenon of Gingers

It's been a while since either of us blogged, but neither of us have died and we do still have the ability to write despite the fact that my hand is still throbbing as a result of my 12-page History exam that I did today, I apologise if I randomly write something like 'Adolf' or 'atomic bomb' somewhere in this post.
I'm sure you'll be glad to know that my exams are going alright so far! 4 down, 600 more to go! Onwards and upwards.

Anyway, onto what this blog is really about- Gingers.
There was an article in the Daily Telegraph (I'm so intellectual) about the bullying of gingers and how hard gingers have it. I'm not going to lie, I don't get bullied about the colour of my hair (I have red hair in case that hadn't been grasped already); the worst I get is being asked if I have 'Gingeritis' when I'm ill. That's not even funny... I don't actually get it, so I'm not going to talk about the treatment of red-haired people. Instead I'm going to bore everyone and talk about the science of gingers. Amongst other things.
(I may be blogging but I do still have to revise for Biology)

I greatly apologise if you are gingerist or suffer from gingerphobia (swear on my life, those are real things).


Prince Harry

Genes
For those of you that don't know- Genes make you who you are, appearance and other characteristics-wise. Basically, if a gene is recessive then that trait won't be seen in a person, if it is dominant then it will. Capiche?
According to the well known scientist, Wikipedia, the gene for red hair is recessive, so you can only have red hair if you have two recessive genes. For this reason, gingerness often skips a generation; if you're ginger and you want someone to blame- blame your grandparents.
Also because of ginger being a recessive gene, you can carry it but not be red headed; this is also the reason that some men grow ginger beards but are non-gingers themselves.

Dying Breed?
I have often been told that soon us gingers will die out and the world will be ruled by blondes and brunettes. Professor WikiAnswers tells me otherwise, a National Geographic article said:
"While redheads may decline, the potential for red isn't going away." Not sure what that means in English, you're guess is as good as mine.
But what's important to know is that we won't be running out of redheads anytime soon, so there is not need to start inter-breeding now to repopulate them, pervy gingers.

Medical Stuff
I'm just going to put it out there that I have red hair and I still tan. Gasp all you want, but it's true.
However, on that note, it is true that gingers lack 'Melanin' and therefore are less likely to tan and more likely to receive excessive amounts of freckles. Which is wonderful.
There is also more chance of a red headed person getting sunburnt than anyone else... I think that's a good thing, makes it easy for my family to spot me on the beach. (Ignore the pain and the skin cancer thing)

History
Like I said, I've done my History exam already so I won't lecture you about important things. Just ginger history. You may as well call this section "Fun Facts"

• The term "redhead" has been in use since 1510.
• Some old man once said that in order to make gold from copper you need to mix the blood of someone with red hair with the ashes of a Basilisk. Be right back, just off to slay a basilisk and find some copper.
• In September 2011, one of the largest sperm banks said that they would no longer accept donations from red headed men. Not going to divulge on this one.
• The Chinese word 'ang mo' means redhead and is used in Malaysia and Singapore to refer to all English people. HA.
• Red heads have often been thought of as being a little... slutty (sorry, I wasn't going to use Wikipedia's word suggestion for this one). No comment.

Ed Sheeran

Being Ginger is Awesome
There have been many studies into this, everyone wants to know about them gingerz, and apparently people with red hair are less receptive to pain from electrical stimuli (also mechanical and chemical, but I don't know any examples of those). Go for it gingers- go stick your finger in a plug socket while holding a metal conductor and see if the current travels throught the conductor and into your hand and electrocutes you/gives you an electric shock (Physics revision. Check), 'cause it won't! Gingers are indestructible, when it comes to electricity.

However... being Ginger is Lame
This is yet to be completely proven but apparently redheads bruise more easily than those with other hair colours. Lucy often says that she "bruises like a peach", this is clearly because she carries the ginger gene and is going to have lots of ginger babies. LOL.
To make matters worse, apparently pain killers work less well on red headed people (something to do with some sciencey letters and numbers).
Aaand to put a really negative spin on it- people with the ginger gene, whether you are red headed or not, have a higher chance of getting some skin cancers. FML. 

Lily Cole


Bibliography of this post:
Wikipedia
The Daily Mail (they supplied me with all of the negative facts and kept referring to being ginger as a "mutation". Thanks Daily Mail)
My imagination

Oh and also, there is a celebration of redheads in Holland that is called "redheadday". I'll be there if you need me.
There is also a chance that I am a witch, a werewolf, or a vampire seeing as I have red hair and green eyes. I think it's because I'm Irish, but I'll try howling at the moon next time it's a full one and see what happens.

And also, pregnant people (if there are any), if your newborn baby has red hair, check out the window to see if Mars is "rising above the eastern horizon." Because gingers being born triggers that, whatever that is.

Hope you enjoyed this super long post about my peoples and I hope it makes up for our recent silence.

M x

How to Respond to Holiday-Related Questions

Hate to remind everyone, but the new school term is starting soon and it means you'll be back to the workload, aching shoulders and constant fatigue, but it means that you'll see all of your friends again! Which, after Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever you celebrate, can be a bad thing. They ask all of those irritating generic holiday questions to which you give the lamest responses.
Fear not! For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy (I'm just casually quoting the Bible there), I am here to feed you the answers that you shall respond with when you are asked the annoying festive questions which you will inevitably be questioned with (no longer quoting the Bible).

Pre: How was your holiday?

Only response: "Goooood"

Now you're ready to answer the advanced level questions:
1) What did you get for Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever excuse you use to get presents?

~ People don't ask this question because they genuinely care, they ask it because they want to compare their present-load to yours and see who had a better haul this year.

Response 1: Pick your best present and say that and "...  plus some other cool stuff"
Response 2: Be obnoxious and say "I didn't need presents this year, having my family around me was enough"
Response 3: Make it up completely, go for random but fantastic things like a Finger-Monkey, a massage table, a small cottage in Andorra, a pink lawn mower etc...

~ Whatever you respond with, do not then ask the questioner what they received, this adds fuel to their comparisons and they will inevitably make their festive celebration gifts sound better than yours.

2) What did you do to celebrate Christmas/Hanukkah/Blah Blah this year?

The only response that there will ever be for this question, even if the truth is the polar opposite: "Oh, you know, family thing..."


3) So, what did you do for New Year?

~ Once again, people don't really care, how you broke in the new year is actually a massive popularity contest. TRUST NO-ONE.

Response 1: "I stayed in with my grandparents, and I'm really glad I did because Grandma said it was the best day of her life and she died the next day." Add a smile, a gulp and a tear if you want to go all-out.
Response 2: Make 'em really jealous "Yeah, it was casual, first I went to Elton John and David Furnish's place for pre-drinks, then I headed out with Brad and Ange for some dinner followed by a private fireworks display and I finished the night in some club with Selena and Justin. They are so back together." Too far?
Response 3: "Oh I just went to (common name like Issy, Chris, Max, Niall's)'s party"

~ Note how none of those responses incorporated the truth.
Unless you do know a host of celebrities that have nothing to do with one another and hang out with them on a regular basis, in which case, I commend your honesty.

4) What did you eat for Christmas dinner? (sorry this is a Christmas-only one)

Response 1: For meat-eaters: "Turkey, stuffing, Brussels sprouts *make 'ew' face*, the standard"
Response 2: For fish-eaters: "Fish pie and the regular veggies" (don't elaborate on the type of fish that makes your answer sound too planned out)
Response 3: For vegetarians: "Nut roast, carrots, parsnips, Brussels sprouts *make 'yum' face*"

~ Optional afterword: "and we drank mulled wine" *wink* or not...
~ After each response, you can say something like "it was delicious" if appropriate.
~ To this question you may ask what they ate too, because I don't think you can make a competition out of food.

5) What did you get for your sister?
Being someone who only has sisters, I have not got you covered if they ask the same question about your brother (you could still do the first thing though).

~ PAAANIICCCC
~ Then pull yourself together.

Response 1: *put your hand on your heart* "This adorable dress from Topshop that she has wanted for ages" (making you: kind and loving sibling)
Response 2: "Oh she picked it herself on boxing day once the sales started. I payed for it though" (making you: nonchalant yet generous and money-conscious sibling)
Response 3: "Oh I haven't got her anything yet" (making you: receive many death stares)


There will of course be other questions asked, because friends are annoying like that, but the above will hopefully help you out a little with the basics.

Remember, if you are unable to answer the question- shush your friend say you thought you heard your phone ringing, apologise and just walk off or change the subject.

Hope you had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate, and happy 2013!!

M x

'Little Things' Is An Important Song For Our Time

Before you exit this web page because you think this is just a crazed One Direction-related post, please read on. I'm not some crazy obsessed fan, I don't tweet Mr Styles every time my grandma dies (on a side note follow @HarryMyCatDied for hilarious tweets from bonkers fans)

But you've kinda got to admire these boys. Kind of. Yes, they were churned out of the Simon Cowell machine, destined to make millions from the beginning due to their dashing good looks, but they've come quite far in just a couple of years. And be honest, if you saw Louis Tomlinson and his girlfriend clothes shopping in Harvey Nichols, you'd probably do some subtle stalking... ok just me?

In 2012, they released their second studio album in just under a year and released their first single from it, 'Little Things'. Admittedly it follows the same themes as most of their other songs, as it's about a girl. Original. But this one is so different, and, in my opinion, actually speaks a very important message to young people today, their audience.

Harry, stop giving me those eyes. You're with Taylor, it would be inappropriate.

Before you start to think I'm a complete loony, listen to some of the songs on their first album. The girls they sing of are portrayed as absolute angels. Just listen to some of the lyrics from their first album. 'The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed'?! Are you serious, there's this great girl in front of you, and the best thing you can find to comment on is her hair? Additionally, 'It's everything about you, everything that you do'. And they're not half picky these boys: 'I NEED that One Thing and you've got that One Thing'. No pressure there then.

Don't get me wrong, I know why One Direction only sing about getting girls and falling in love. Because of their target market (spotty pre-teen girls whose most serious relationships are with their teddy bears), they know they will make money from making these girls swoon. But some of these girls, they're no Victoria's Secret Angels. They write fan fiction, for Christ's sake.

Look, you've got to stop freaking out when I flip my hair, Zayn...

So 'Little Things' was a huge breath of fresh air. How awesome is it to be told that that its ok to 'never want to know how much you weigh'?? (Especially after a super-indulgent festive period). It's true, the majority of girls don't like their stomach or their thighs. Can we all just collectively ignore the stupid line 'You can't go to bed without a cup of tea, and maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep. And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me', like are you serious? C'mon Louis, buck up.

Back to the important issue at hand. Girls nowadays suffer from so many self-esteem issues, never believing that they are good enough to get the guy. Let alone bag a member of One Direction. And whose to blame for a whole generation, and probably even generations before, developing confidence issues? The media and the artists of today, that's who. Or, in One Direction's case, their songwriters.

It seems as if you cannot go on the Internet anymore without being told that a celebrity is struggling to keep off the pounds, therefore being branded as 'fat'. She's not fat, she's 110 pounds for Christ's sake. These online newspapers then proceed to publish articles about how low self-esteem is ruining so many bright futures. Ironic much?! I'm talking about you, Mail Online.

Living in a big city like London, it is hard to avoid models and London Fashion Week. I believe LFW is a great way of showcasing British talent, but in recent years, controversy surrounding Size 0 models has hit the headlines, reaching the eyes of millions of easily-manipulated teenage girls. Although London isn't the most popular fashion capital for using Size 0 models, it's still happening. Back in 2011, the nations beloved SamCam, wife of the less loved PM David Cameron, said she was 'disgusted' by the inclusion of a Size 0 model at a show she attended. Hey model, it's not normal to look skeletal and it don't suit you, babe.

On the subject of self-esteem issues, let me bring up a topical issue that you may/may not be aware of. You'll undoubtedly have seem them. The yobs at the back of the bus will usually leave them around. You may even know someone who buys it just to see them. That's right, I'm talking about The Sun's Page 3 models. These hugely out-of-proportion girls are basically telling girls everywhere that they have to look like that. They may not be realising they're doing it or doing it intentionally because they don't think that their audience may include young girls, but yeah, they're doing it. Don't even get me started on the over-sexualisation of youngsters. I think I'm too young/not mardy enough to address that right now.

These images are basically saying that this is what young women everywhere should look like. No slightly flabby thighs for you, missy. So we are trying to get rid of it. Forever.

So here is today's task for you. Two things actually.
1) Sign this petition to get rid of the Page 3 models, and then tell absolutely everyone you know to sign it.
2) Listen to Little Things, open a box of Quality Street and hug your normal thighs. They're not thunder thighs, I promise. You go girl.

So girls, stretch marks are fine. Spots are cool too. Because, hey, you may still bag a member of One Direction. I hear Niall may be free...

L x

Best TV Shows of 2012

The TV Show obsessive is back to share a few more of her beloved programmes with you. Yay.
Obviously I don't watch every show in the world, only the majority of them (no thank you Dexter and American Horror Story) but lots of new seasons started in 2012, and I am going to inform you of a few of my favourite ones that I have watched. This is solely my opinion and completely subject to criticism.

WARNING: Do not read if you do not want any of the following shows spoiled for you

1) Pretty Little Liars: Season 3
This started in January of 2012 and has been on mid-season hiatus since the beginning of the Summer after about 12 episodes. Way to keep us waiting ABC Family. However, it is totally worth the wait seeing as the episode it ended on and the Halloween episode were both amazingly gripping. This season has been just as good, if not better, than the previous 2 seasons and it's pretty safe to say that this is one of my favourite shows.
I will say now, though, that if Aria and Ezra break up in the second half of season 3 I will stop watching PLL until they get back together.

2) Gossip Girl: Season 6
I feel like I kind of have to put this one in, the show being finished now and all, but I did think it was a great season to end the show on. They concluded all of the story lines that had been left untied and had been annoying everyone (or maybe just me...). They brought back Jenny and Vanessa for about 10 seconds, which was just right (maybe a little too long) because no-one likes those 2 anyway.
Plus, even though a tiny part of me was hoping that Nate and Blair would get back together (yup, I am the only surviving Nair supporter in the world) Chuck and Blair getting married did bring a tear or two to my eye. Also, I am beyond glad that Dan and Serena ended up together, despite the weird parent relationship thing...

3) Glee: Season 4
I won't lie, I was a little apprehensive about this new season to begin with as they took out the best characters (Quinn, Santana) at the end of season 3 and threw in some fairly weak and annoying ones (pretty much just Marley) some of whom I still don't like (just Marley). However, since having a bit of  a rough patch with the last couple of seasons, Glee has really come back around and started its new season on a positive note (if you'll pardon the pun).
Their song choices are improving (though I would still appreciate less Katy Perry), they added more hot guys, and managed to make Rachel less irritating.
They have broken up Klaine, which saddened me greatly, but I have an inkling that it's not permanent and (please don't kill me for saying this) I really like Brittany and Sam together. Good one Fox.

4) How I Met Your Mother: Season 8
FINALLY ROBIN AND BARNEY ARE BACK TOGETHER!!
We've been waiting, what, 4 seasons for this? (Give or take). It did take them a whole 10 episodes for them to admit they love for each other (and get engaged...) but it happened!
Not going to lie, I did like Quinn, but Becki Newton was just born to play Amanda in Ugly Betty and I didn't quite see her as Barney's stripper girlfriend.
In this season, Lily also got increasingly funnier and Ted has been less... Ted.
Marshall is always brilliant so I have nothing to say on that matter.

5) The Great British Bake Off: Series 3
This cooking competition programme never disappoints me, but this season was especially pleasing because my favourite contestant won! Well, my second favourite. My favourite was Catherine, but when she went out it was John and he won.
They made some brilliant recipes, my favourite being the show stopper cakes, which was a cake that, when cut into, had some sort of design or something made out of the sponge on the inside.
The judges were as fabulous as ever, Mary Berry looking as spritely and youthful as ever and there weren't really any contestants that I strongly disliked (although I'll admit that Brendan started to get on my nerves towards the end...).

I don't want you to think that I have enjoyed every show that I have watched this year, because some of them were really not all that fab (...90210...), but the above shows really stood out as having improved or just been really great full stop.

Not only have we had some great shows on TV (/online) this year, but we've also got some exciting ones to look forward to in 2013, like Miranda Season 3 for instance.

Happy TV watching!

M x

Ten Reasons Why It Was Great To Be A Brit In 2012

Let's be honest, it's been a pretty banging year. In case you have been living under a rock for the past year and have only re-surfaced for the festive period (something I feel I partook in slightly. Except my rock had internet access), it's been like one non-stop party for the Brits this year. We waved our hands in the air and, boy, we waved them like we didn't care.

But as we say goodbye to another year and look forward to another one, I thought it would be nice to look back at a pretty fabaroonie year. Let's just forget about all the bad things that happened this year. Recession-schmession.

1) The Diamond Jubilee

Yes it rained that long weekend. It rained a lot. But that didn't stop us drinking all the Pimms we could lay our hands on and still having a jolly good time. We saw our incredible Queen and Prince Philip brave the elements to travel down the Thames in the Jubilee Pageant  which, whether you liked it or not, you cannot deny was pretty impressive. In a time like this when lots are struggling financially, it was a symbol of unity.
If you are already cringing at my cheesiness, do yourself a favour and stop reading now. It's only going to get worse as I get more patriotic.

2) The London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics
Cor blimey, nobody thought we would do it. But we became rather secretly smug as soon as we saw Mr Beckham floating down the Thames, luscious wind-swept locks, holding the torch. And if you didn't cry during the opening/closing ceremony, you are a soulless person and therefore I will probably assume that you're ginger. I think it truly made people proud to be British (and it gave me an excuse to watch the television all summer).

I know everyone is saying it, but seriously, it couldn't have been done without all of us. The British public. If we hadn't had been behind it and backing it, which admittedly at first we weren't, then it would have failed. But we all helped in our own little way, some more than others. Now would be a really appropriate time to thank all the Gamesmakers and Ambassadors, because, hey, if a tourist had gone up to just anyone in Waterloo Station, someone would've got hurt. I say Waterloo because my fabulous mother was actually a London Ambassador situated in Waterloo. Yes, she still has her pink and purple uniform. No, she won't let me wear it.

3) Team GB

4) #royalbaby
One of the reasons we already know that 2013 will be totes ah-mazing, daahling. The nation's sweetheart (not you Chezza) got her hair cut, and we already knew it. I told you all, physic alert.

5) UK Cinema
We had the latest Bond film, Skyfall, hitting our screens in October as well as other films like The Woman In Black, Wrath Of The Titans and The Hobbit released as British films. Ok, maybe they haven't been our greatest ever. But, hey Hollywood, we have 007. And Harry Potter. So yeah.

6) UK Music
So Emile Sande seemed to be absolutely everywhere this year and it became a leeeetle bit of a joke by the end, but you can't deny she has a great voice. It's also been a great year for other British artists like Mumford & Sons, Ed Sheeran and Adele. And One Direction. Like them or not, they've had a stonking year.
It was also the year that Girls Aloud confirmed their reunion, so we'll be expecting great things from this sassy bunch in 2013.

7) It was THE year for British fashion
One of the most memorable part of the Olympic closing ceremony (apart from the countless appearances from Sir Paul McCartney and Emile Sande, pipe down you two) was the fashion segment, when some gorgeous British household name models strutted their stuff in gold, what else? Lily Donaldson, Naomi Campbell, Stella Tennant, Kate Moss, Karen Elson, Georgia May Jagger, Jourdan Dunn, Lily Cole and, who could forget, David Gandy, dressed head to toe in British designers. So it wasn't as fabulous as the Spice Girls reunion, but it was pretty damn close.

Another, more light-hearted nod to British fashion was The Mayor of London's collaboration with Grazia magazine, named 'Hatwalk' where we saw all the famous historical faces we know so well accessorised with a hat. Hey Nelson, nice Union patterned thingamajig you got going on.

8) The world didn't end!
So this isn't strictly British-related, but hey, I know you breathed a sigh of relief and switched the kettle on when you knew we hadn't been stuck by a zombie apocalypse.
I mean, I never really believed it, but hey, you can never be TOO cautious.

9) We had some GREAT anniversaries!
The Jubilee wasn't the only anniversary worth celebrating this year. Other notable ones include:

• 50 years since the first Beatles single was released
• The sandwich is 250 years old!
• Shakespeare is 400
• Charles Dickens is 200
• 50 years of Bond films. All together now da da da da daaa da da da daa da da da da da da daaa

10) Hey, we're fabulous every year

We're such a quirky country with our traditions, and, honestly, it makes me proud as an iPhone 5 owner. We drink around 165 million cups of tea EVERY DAY and we do love our Christmas traditions. We have the pantomime, Christmas crackers and mince pies. Apparently not many other countries do that. News to me.

Also, we have our royal family who, like them or not, make us unique and lovable as a free National Health Service. You can't complain with that.

Oh. And cool accents.

I tried to come up with 12. Trust me, I tried my hardest. But I feel this isn't quite the audience to be talking about Innovation and Inventions in Britain. Maybe next year.

So there you go. The best bits of 2012 in a nut shell. 2013 is going to be a real game-changer for me, let's bring it on.

L x

Revision

I have only just realised that it has been a whole four days since either of us last posted something, our last post being a joint Christmas wishes one and Christmas is long gone now.

The reason for our recent silence in the blogasphere is that we both have these wonderful things called "exams" coming up, to be more specific "GCSE mocks". They are not optional and they will not be fun. Rather than spend our days writing brilliant blog posts we are spending them (or a couple of minutes of them at least in my case) revising for said exams.

I'm assuming that everyone reading this will have, at some point in their lives, partaken in some sort of revision; whether for school exams or otherwise. Ergo, you will know that revision is no walk in the park. Far from it. However, it has been fairly insightful, but not in a good way. I shall now share with you some of the things that revision has made me realise about myself and hopefully you fellow revisers shall agree with me (hopefully).

1) I Remember Nothing Useful

The whole point of learning for exams is that you technically already know the stuff, you're just going through it and reminding yourself. "Reinforcing it" as my teachers were fond of saying. This is not the case for me, I am not really revising here, I am actually teaching myself everything. Every time I look at my school work to make some notes from it, it is like I am reading completely new stuff, even the work that we covered in the last term.

You may be thinking that it sounds like I just have a very poor memory, but this is also not the case for me- I have quite a good memory. For useless facts; like, what happened in last week's episode of 90210 or the date on which I got my braces off, but useful things like historical dates and the nitrogen cycle just won't stick.

2) I am the Best Procrastinator Ever

My sister's Twitter bio informs the world that she puts the pro in procrastination, but right now I vehemently disagree with her. I am the queen of procrastinating.

I am even procrastinating right now. I logged onto the blog to check a few things while taking a break from learning about stupid acids and bases and suddenly I am writing a whole post!

If procrastinating were an olympic sport I would have so many gold medals.

Every time I sit down to revise I think to myself 'I am not going to procrastinate today' but I always end up doing so anyway. I have a problem and I should probably seek help. But I won't because colouring in my hair with Sharpie is so much more enjoyable.

3) I Can't Write in a Straight Line

This is quite a strange one, but it is so  annoying! I write all my notes on plain paper (don't tell me I should write on lined paper, I can't draw pictures with lines) in loads of pretty colours and I think each page will turn out so nicely but when I lift up a completed sheet to look at it, it is pretty unattractive because every word is pointing towards the bottom right hand corner. There is nothing I can do to force myself to write in a horizontal line.

4) Working with Food is Easier

This is probably just me as I do love a good snack anyway, but I find that I am able to work for a longer amount of time and better if I have some sort of food with me to nibble on. Whether it is a Digestive biscuit or a gourmet meal for 10, my work pattern improves greatly when I eat. 

I wonder if this would also be the case during school if I were able to snack during lessons, but I will never find out because we aren't allowed to eat anything during class. Brilliant excuse for my lack of concentration.

5) Everything Distracts Me

This is quite similar to the procrastinating point, but in this case it is not me deliberately wasting time instead of revising. This is completely not my fault but I get distracted by anything. 

Everyone gets distracted to a certain extent, by things like their phones, the internet etc. but I think I actually have a problem, my concentration can be so easily broken for the stupidest things.

For instance, if I hear a bird chirping in my garden, I must get up and look out the window to see which bird is making this noise and where it is situated. I don't even care about birds that much.

Also, I enjoy working with a snack (see above), but even this can distract, I get preoccupied reading packaging and thinking about the texture and taste of my food. 

I bet there would be stuff to distract me even if I worked in a completely empty, soundproof room.

Combine all of the above 5 points and you have me, sitting at a laptop, writing this, with a hot chocolate to my left and assorted sweets to my right, being distracted by the fact that my nail polish is chipping and forgetting everything that I have "revised" so far today, which is written in note-form in diagonal lines on A4 paper behind the laptop. 

I'm really not cut out for work.

I really hope I'm not the only one whose revision for upcoming tests is not going too well otherwise I sound pretty dumb right now.

I promise I will try to blog more in the next few weeks, but if Lucy or I don't, hopefully you now understand why.

Good Luck to anyone who has some sort of examination in the upcoming term, I hope your recision is going swimmingly. 

M x