How to Respond to Holiday-Related Questions

Hate to remind everyone, but the new school term is starting soon and it means you'll be back to the workload, aching shoulders and constant fatigue, but it means that you'll see all of your friends again! Which, after Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever you celebrate, can be a bad thing. They ask all of those irritating generic holiday questions to which you give the lamest responses.
Fear not! For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy (I'm just casually quoting the Bible there), I am here to feed you the answers that you shall respond with when you are asked the annoying festive questions which you will inevitably be questioned with (no longer quoting the Bible).

Pre: How was your holiday?

Only response: "Goooood"

Now you're ready to answer the advanced level questions:
1) What did you get for Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever excuse you use to get presents?

~ People don't ask this question because they genuinely care, they ask it because they want to compare their present-load to yours and see who had a better haul this year.

Response 1: Pick your best present and say that and "...  plus some other cool stuff"
Response 2: Be obnoxious and say "I didn't need presents this year, having my family around me was enough"
Response 3: Make it up completely, go for random but fantastic things like a Finger-Monkey, a massage table, a small cottage in Andorra, a pink lawn mower etc...

~ Whatever you respond with, do not then ask the questioner what they received, this adds fuel to their comparisons and they will inevitably make their festive celebration gifts sound better than yours.

2) What did you do to celebrate Christmas/Hanukkah/Blah Blah this year?

The only response that there will ever be for this question, even if the truth is the polar opposite: "Oh, you know, family thing..."


3) So, what did you do for New Year?

~ Once again, people don't really care, how you broke in the new year is actually a massive popularity contest. TRUST NO-ONE.

Response 1: "I stayed in with my grandparents, and I'm really glad I did because Grandma said it was the best day of her life and she died the next day." Add a smile, a gulp and a tear if you want to go all-out.
Response 2: Make 'em really jealous "Yeah, it was casual, first I went to Elton John and David Furnish's place for pre-drinks, then I headed out with Brad and Ange for some dinner followed by a private fireworks display and I finished the night in some club with Selena and Justin. They are so back together." Too far?
Response 3: "Oh I just went to (common name like Issy, Chris, Max, Niall's)'s party"

~ Note how none of those responses incorporated the truth.
Unless you do know a host of celebrities that have nothing to do with one another and hang out with them on a regular basis, in which case, I commend your honesty.

4) What did you eat for Christmas dinner? (sorry this is a Christmas-only one)

Response 1: For meat-eaters: "Turkey, stuffing, Brussels sprouts *make 'ew' face*, the standard"
Response 2: For fish-eaters: "Fish pie and the regular veggies" (don't elaborate on the type of fish that makes your answer sound too planned out)
Response 3: For vegetarians: "Nut roast, carrots, parsnips, Brussels sprouts *make 'yum' face*"

~ Optional afterword: "and we drank mulled wine" *wink* or not...
~ After each response, you can say something like "it was delicious" if appropriate.
~ To this question you may ask what they ate too, because I don't think you can make a competition out of food.

5) What did you get for your sister?
Being someone who only has sisters, I have not got you covered if they ask the same question about your brother (you could still do the first thing though).

~ PAAANIICCCC
~ Then pull yourself together.

Response 1: *put your hand on your heart* "This adorable dress from Topshop that she has wanted for ages" (making you: kind and loving sibling)
Response 2: "Oh she picked it herself on boxing day once the sales started. I payed for it though" (making you: nonchalant yet generous and money-conscious sibling)
Response 3: "Oh I haven't got her anything yet" (making you: receive many death stares)


There will of course be other questions asked, because friends are annoying like that, but the above will hopefully help you out a little with the basics.

Remember, if you are unable to answer the question- shush your friend say you thought you heard your phone ringing, apologise and just walk off or change the subject.

Hope you had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate, and happy 2013!!

M x