Decorating Christmas Trees

This is my first Christmas blog post! (Premature Christmas didn't count).
I am very much in the festive spirit now, even listening to some Mariah Carey as I write this, and I think it is very much acceptable to start thinking about buying your Christmas trees. It may even be okay to start getting out your tree decorations from the attic and maybe even (but this could be pushing it a little) buying and decorating them.
You must be panicking so much right now; you have no idea where to start in the whole decorating process. As always, I am here for you- a shoulder to cry on, a giant walking tissue to blow your nose on (ew, please don't) and a fountain of knowledge about all things useless.
So, without further ado, this is my guide of how to decorate your tree in various different ways.
The pictures are merely guides and visual aid, not strictly how yours should or will look.

Option 1) Tacky

You will need:
- Gold/Silver faux Christmas tree
- Coloured lights
- Tinsel in 2 of these colours: pink, blue, green, orange, red
- Plastic baubles in various shapes, sizes and colours
- Something sparkly for the top, I would recommend an old hair scrunchie

What to do:
Start by wrapping the tinsel around the tree, it is easiest if two people do this by taking one colour each and just walking around the tree not even checking to see if the tinsel has been spread evenly. Make sure the tinsel is wrapped quite tightly for the best look.
Next, apply the lights in a similar way to the tinsel, however make sure these have an even spread. Turn them on for the rest of the decorating process as this will help you greatly.
Now you can put on your baubles; don't even bother putting hooks on them, this way they will stick off your tree rigidly and the light will catch them wonderfully.
Chuck your sparkly item on the top, step back, and admire your masterpiece.

Option 2) Organised

You will need:

- Real Christmas tree of average size and evenly spread fir

- Colourless LED lights

- Gold and silver baubles (or similar colour scheme, like red and gold etc.)

- Boxes wrapped in silver paper

What to do:

Put your tree the corner of a room which has a chandelier in (because everyone's house is like a hotel obviously).

Wrap the lights around your tree making sure they look even and that every little lamp works. Next, place the gold and silver baubles on your tree evenly- no gold next to gold/silver next to silver or empty gaps.

Place your wrapped boxes under your beautiful tree in an orderly mess.

Option 3) Minimalist

You will need:

- Real tree, get the biggest that you can find

What to do:

Find a place to put your tree and put it there. 

Option 4) Alternative

You will need:

- Any tree you can find, a bush would also do the trick

- Random household objects (eg. Cutlery, shoes, scissors, clothing items)

- Something to put on top

- Optional: Christmas tree lights

What to do:

Place the household object on your chosen piece of greenery randomly. If they hang off branches then this is brilliant, if not, place them on the tree at your own risk.

I recommend putting some sort of vessel, for instance a saucepan, over the top of your tree for added splendour.

If you have lights, just chuck them at your tree and hope they stay or electrocute any passing grandparents.

Option 5) Not a tree

a) Coat hangers

You will need:

- Coat hangers

- Somewhere to hang them from

- Lights

What to do:

Hang the coat hangers from the thing you have chosen to hang them from.

b) Drinks cans/bottles

You will need:

- Hundreds of drinks cans/bottles

- A strong bladder

What to do:

Drink all of the liquid inside of your drinks cans/bottles until they are all empty. Go to the toilet x100.

Stack your drinks containers on top of each other in pyramid formation and pray that they don't fall over.

c) Stuffed toys

This one is self explanatory. And also slightly terrifying.

  

d) Books

You will need:

- Hundreds of books

- Time and patience

- A ladder or two

- Lights

What to do:

  

Stack 'em high. This could take a while. After a few weeks (or however long it takes you to complete) drape some lights over your book pile.

 

If you choose any of the above Christmas tree options, I'm sure your tree will be absolutely beautiful and if you don't, I'm sure it'll look alright anyway.

Enjoy decorating your trees and expect more seasonal posts sometime, and maybe Lucy will break her blogging fast and write one as well. If we're lucky.

M x



Kate Middleton is pregnant!

If you are currently in shock after reading the title of this post then shame on you, where have you been for the last two hours?
If you are still in disbelief about the fact that Kate and Wills are expecting a baby, then read this Huffington post article and start believing (it also includes some pictures of Kate hugging children, which is of course always completely relevant)
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/12/03/kate-middleton-prince-william-baby-royal-pregnancy_n_2231812.html

In her news round up yesterday, Lucy mentioned that K-Middy recently got a new haircut and this could be a sign that she is having a baby because people often undergo physical change when they know they are going to have a life change (I don't want to say that Lucy predicted the future but...). There was also speculation that she is trying to copy Princess Diana, but I feel that I can now confirm that we shouldn't expect to see Kate cut off her beautiful hair and dying it blond anytime soon.

Anyway, enough of that, this post is going to focus on something that you will not stop hearing about for 9 months now: Royal Baby Names. There was some report that they wanted to name it after either William's mother of grandmother if it's a girl, and I know there are some sort of guidelines that you have to stick to when naming the heir to the throne, so I am going to write a list of  a few names that the Prince/Princess definitely will  not be called.

Highly Unlikely Baby Names For the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's Baby
I don't mean to offend anyone with any of the following names, I like all of them they just don't scream ROYAL.

1) Cheryl
Lauren Pope (rumoured to be dating Prince Harry at one stage) from the Only Way is Essex, once said that Cheryl Cole was the "Nation's Princess". I'm not entirely sure what her reasoning for this random statement was but, I can safely say, that the name of our potential future queen is not going to be Cheryl. Sorry Chezza, no matter how many times you perform in front of her Kate is not going to be naming her future child after an ex-X Factor judge, I do love you though.

2) Rachel
That name doesn't carry the royal resonance in the same way as, for instance, Victoria or Elizabeth does. It's a very nice name, I just doubt it will be the name of our future royal baby. Queen Rachel? Hmm...

3) Bob
Obviously, I hadn't forgotten the 50% chance of Kate and William Junior being a boy (even though pretty much everyone hopes it is a girl) but there is pretty much a 0% of it being called Bob. I am aware that Bob is short for Robert, but really, having a King whose name is also the name of the only male Kardashian isn't any better than naming him after a cartoon builder, no matter how catchy his theme song may be.

4) Lucy
Sorry Lucy, I love you very much, but I think there is a higher chance of the baby being named after me than you. Princess Mindy has something of a ring to it, no? Just me? Right.
Well, Princess Lucy doesn't really conjure up an image of the future future monarch either. I feel like Lucy and I will just have to accept that our parents didn't think that we could marry Harry and become part of the Windsor family when they named us. Selfish of them, really. (For now, we'll pretend that Hazza's last serious girlfriend wasn't called Chelsea.)

5) Kanye
I don't think I'll go into any further detail about this one.

6) Fiona

I know, I know, another girls name, but I couldn't not put this one. I mean, Princess Fiona? Shrek anyone? It would be unfortunate enough for the royal baby to have the same name as a ogre queen, but if she started growing little green ears and piling on the pounds that would be too tragic, even if Fiona Windsor was voiced by Cameron Diaz. I think calling her Fiona would definitely encourage that kind of mutation.

As fun as it would be to have an heir to the throne with any of the above names, it is much more likely that Kate and Wills' baby will be called something like Elizabeth, Mary, Charles, Edward or Victoria.
Either way, it doesn't matter what he or she is called as I am so so excited. First the royal wedding, then the Jubilee, then the Olympics and now a royal baby! I love being British.

I am still a little miffed about not being invited to the wedding, but I've forgiven K-Mids and will just be spending the next 9 months waiting for my invitation to the royal christening.

M x

A Dummy's Guide To This Week's News: 25/11/12 - 2/12/12

This is a regular thing that is going to be posted every Sunday to keep everyone (myself) informed of what's going on. It's an incentive, people.

The Leveson Report: What's In It?

Lord Justice Leveson has published his 2,000 page report, criticising the way newspapers are run. This had been set up after journalists were accused of hacking phones and listening to voicemails.

In the report, he recommends that a way of regulating the press is needed, as at the moments it was as if journalists were 'marking their own homework', however he states that the majority of British journalists are necessary to speak for those who otherwise wouldn't be heard.

The law about whether newspapers should be closely monitored is now being debated by MP's in Parliament, watch this space!

New York Without Crime - One Day Only!

No stabbings, murders or muggings were reported to the New York City police on Monday for a whole 24 hours, the first time this has ever occurred. Although there are over 8 million people living in New York, the number of murders is at its lowest for 50 years and residents reckon this drop in crime has been due to more officers on the streets.

Backfire Over the Proposed Minimum Price for Alcohol

On Wednesday, the Home Secretary Theresa May proposed a 45p-per-unit minimum price for alcohol in an attempt to reduce alcohol abuse numbers. This would also include a ban on two-for-one and similar offers.

Many say that this would prove ineffective in tackling the misuse of alcohol and instead put more pressure on household budgets although doctors and the NHS believe it could save thousands of lives.

Christopher Snowdon from BBC1's Breakfast programme states that 'we need to defend low prices... It's not going to stop people getting horribly drunk on a Saturday night... the poorest are going to be the hardest hit'

Do we need to up prices of things in a country facing so much economic trouble?



And on a ligher note...

I'm A Celebrity Over For Another Year!

So admittedly, I only knew a couple of the celebrities on this year's show, an all-time low, but I've fallen in love with the majority of them (not you Rosemary or Lihmal!!)

But last night it came down to Ashley Roberts, of Pussycat Doll's fame, and Eastenders' Charlie Brooks, the first fully female final. 

In my opinion, it should've been Ashley who won as she came across as a really lovely person, never tripping up or badmouthing anyone. Plus she made me rediscover my love for The Pussycat Doll's. However, it was super smiley Charlie who won it, meaning an end to this year's Bushtucker Trials, Ant and Dec's pre-Christmas banter and the hideous Iceland adverts

Kate Middleton Gets a Fringe!

The Duchess of Cambridge unveiled her new hairdo at the Natural History Museum on Tuesday, resulting in mixed reviews.

Although some said they liked the new change, others have claimed that the cut came about for a variety of reasons.

The most popular theory is that this is finally the news we have all been waiting for, a newborn royal! The Daily Mail's Amanda Craig said that 'a cut often signals a radical shift in an individual's life. Younger women change their look when something drastic has happened to them... and if she is keeping a Very Important Secret, then that demure long fringe is perfect for hiding it.

Another less popular theory is that she is trying to copy her late mother-in-law, Diana! Her floppy fringe and short hair was popular in her own time, but seriously Kate! Your hair was perfectly glossy/long/shiny as it was. Don't let that go to waste!

How to Answer the Phone

This is a sequel to How to Respond to Texts, immediately after I posted it I realised that a few people actually use their telephonic devices to make phone calls and physically speak to someone (not face-to-face of course, who even does that anymore?)
Nowadays, the majority of the world has caller ID on their mobile (unless living in the dark ages is your thing, which is totally fine) so you can tell who is calling you and think of what to say before you press the green phone button and receive the call, but picking up the phone can be awkward if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person.
Obviously, you iPhone 4S users could just double click your middle button and ask Siri what to say when you pick up the phone very speedily before actually picking up your call, however, some of us don't have that luxury and if you read this and commit the following greetings to memory, you could use Siri for more pressing matters. Like asking who is the fairest of them all and if she'll be your friend.


Calling: MUM

If she is mad at you: Answer: *fake crying* Yes Mummy? *fake sob*
If you have good news: Answer: Guess what!!
If someone is eavesdropping: Answer: Hola madre!
Any other circumstance: Answer: Maaaammm!!

Calling: DAD

Answer: Hi dad, firstly, can I have £20?...
or Answer: Yeah hi dad, could I ask you a teeny tiny favour?...

Calling: SIBLING
Answer: Oi, what do you want?
or Answer: Ergh, you

Calling: BEST FRIEND
Answer: Hey fatty
or Answer: You literally just left my house, what did you forget this time?
or Answer: Got any gossip for me, (insert chosen rude name here)?

Calling: ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING SURVEY PEOPLE

Answer: Hello, the person you are calling is unavailable, please leave a message after the tone *make a high pitched noise*

Answer: Hello? Yeah, sorry (your name) isn't here right now, bye.

Calling: LESS GOOD FRIEND

Answer: Heyyy baaaabbee what's up?

Calling: OVERKEEN NEIGHBOUR (yes, this guy/girl pops up everywhere) 

Answer: Same as answer to One of the annoying survey people (see above)
or Answer: *fake yawn* Oh hi... Sorry... I'm so tired... I don't ever want to leave my bedroom for any reason... And I really love being alone... Yup, me, myself and I are having such a good time...

Calling: MEMBER OF OPPOSITE SEX

Answer: *Assume it is a bum call and don't pick up at all*
or Answer: Hi


I do not recommend answering the phone in any other way than the above. Trust me, I am an expert, I have done years and years of research and even have a PhD in phone calls, because that is totally a real thing.
Feel free to mix and match, but don't use the Mum ones in answering to anyone else, that could create some super uncomfortable situations.

Also, I deeply apologise for Lucy's premature Christmas posts, I couldn't hold her back, she's like a Russian revolutionary (Historical reference, I'm not a clairvoyant). I, however, shall start blogging about the pending festivities this Saturday, which is December 1st, which is when it is socially acceptable to do this.

M x

Christmas in London

With December rapidly approaching, it seems the only thing on everyone's minds is Christmas (apart from us GCSE-ers. Mocks Schmocks). Have I remembered to get a gift for everyone? Is there enough ribbon? Do we have enough Quality Street to see us through the holiday? (The answer to the last one, without looking in the Christmas snack corner, is no. We do not have enough. We will never have enough)

Throughout November, and even more increasingly in December, everyone seems to get a twitchy eye, consumed by the ordeal of Christmas while trying to push their way through the hoards of like-minded shoppers on Oxford Street. Looks like a zombie attack, feels like an apocalypse.

But living in the city, sometimes we forget all the wonderful festive things that go on around this time of the year, because we are so busy planning every minute detail. Christmas music essential.

Winter Wonderland

Now I'm not exactly a regular to Winter Wonderland, in fact I've only ever been a couple of times but it is absolutely mesmerising, especially at nighttime. The bright lights of the fairground rides cut against the coldness in the air and, cheese alert, you can actually feel the Christmas spirit in the air.  I know I'm getting all fancy schmancy English GCSE an everything, but it is seriously so mesmerising.
Plus, there is a crafts fair so if it comes to December 22nd and your stuck for a gift idea for you dad, you can take the easy option out and get him a shoddy German wooden tree decoration. Merry Christmas Dad (the market actually has some great stuff. Really great stuff in fact. It just also happens to sell those stupid jelly balls that you put in your vases with flowers... I mean really?!)

Christmas at Harrods
So, this isn't exactly just a Christmas thing, because it seems as if the Harrods Christmas Shop is open year round, but there is something very festive-feeling about the rattle of hideously expensive tree decorations jingling inside the dark-green bag.
Plus, Harrods has London's best selection of Santas. Yes, Santas plural. I was a very sceptical seven year old, and don't think I didn't notice the elves taking oblivious, screaming families to a variety of rooms, instead of just one.
(By the way kids, Santa is real, he just gets super busy making stinking Lego toys which are so god-damn easy to step on in December, so he hires a bunch of bad, middle-aged actors to play Santa)

Would you just take a look at my face in this photo? I think that says it all. If Harrods ever need anyone to come up with an advertising campaign for their Christmas Grotto, I'm their go-to-girl. Just stick that face up on billboards and the masses will come flocking. Although some of them may confuse the advert with one for constipation tablets. Let's not go there.
(Let's not talk about the outfit. Pretty sure the turtleneck look was working in my favour at the time)

Ice Skating
There's something about ice skating that feels so Christmassy. Maybe it's because they only appear at Christmas time, hmmmm. But, you seriously do not need me to condense this information for you! Read Mindy's whole post on it here!

Pantomime
Maybe it's just a family tradition thing, but for me, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the Pantomime. We always go to the one in Richmond, but the Wimbledon and Hammersmith ones are supposed to be good as well...
Actually, does it have to be good? Isn't that the point of the pantomime? Isn't it meant to be absolutely cringeworthy? Confession time, I actually performed in the Hounslow Pantomime back in '09, playing a villager/demon/fairy in Jack And The Beanstalk. Bet you didn't know that? Yes, I'm technically a professional actress. Got paid £40 for 17 shows, which was the bees knees back in Year 8. Would be pretty miffed now though.

Gawking at shop windows/general appreciation
So this isn't really a day trip out, so don't fill up your Thermos with hot chocolate and cut the crusts off your sandwiches (freak) yet... Often the things that you find the most joy out of are things you weren't expecting... Take shop window displays for example. There you are, trying to dash past Selfridges as fast as you can with one too many shopping bags than was necessary, and then seeing the window display. Every year they are always so imaginative and original, and they never fail to put a smile on my face.
Other great examples of top notch window displays include:

• Harrods (obviously)
• Fortune & Masons
• Harvey Nichols

Christmas at Starbucks

Now that it's back, and it's back for good (well until January 5th), we can all enjoy our favourite festive beverages, (almost) guilt-free. Huge arguments arise from the important debate: Toffee Nut Latte vs. Gingerbread Latte.

I know there are Starbucks shops dotted around the country but there's a different feeling within London Starbucks stores. This must be due to the amount of people who visit their regular Starbucks every day and the sheer amount of people who go, all the hustle and bustle. Baristas shout across the store orders which do not want to be repeated 'THAT'LL BE A VENTI SOY GINGERBREAD LATTE WITH SUGAR FREE SYRUP NO CREAM ONE SHOT ONLY'. Feels just a little bit festive, no? The lonely bunch of tinsel draped across the menu in early November is rather odd and out of place, but hey, it's Christmas.

Of course, everyone has their own family Christmas traditions, and that's what really interests me. Christmas is such a basic idea and families have mainly the basic same principles, but it's so interesting to see what different people do with their day. But, anyhoo, I digress. If you have any Christmas traditions in London, or even if I have left anything out, feel free to comment, we don't bite! (Well Mindy does a little, but she tries to be gentle. Poking her eyes out should do the trick)

L x

School Pecking Order

I'm afraid this is one of those annoying posts that will maybe definitely only make sense to those who live in England, so if you don't- I think you better leave right now. Unless you enjoy being befuddled.

At every school there is a hierarchy, everyone has to learn to accept it, begrudgingly or happily. If you don't know what the order is, don't worry because I am about to write it down, and hopefully it will stick.

Remember that I don't mean to offend anyone in this post, I am just telling it like it is. Don't hate me, hate the system.

1) Sixth Formers

This includes the prestigious Head Girl/Boy and her/his team. They are to be feared by all, even if they are the kindest people in the world, which most of the time they aren't.

In the majority of schools, sixth form students don't wear uniform (obviously this is only significant if the school has a uniform in prior years). This makes them easy to spot, and therefore easy to kneel at the feet of when they walk past you, because this is what you should do if you see one of these specimens.

It is not their fault that they are often grumpy, they are laden with work and other life stresses. Please be forgiving to these people and remember that, no matter what, they are always better than you.

2) Headmaster/mistress

You may be wondering why the actual leader of the school comes below the oldest students in the hierarchy. I don't know either, so don't ask me. And don't ask the system either, because you are not allowed to question the system.

The head of a school is pretty scary and they must always be given a warm smile when you see them; this smile should be quite subtle and don't show teeth. Any banter that this person tries to have with you should be received with a nod of your head and a light laugh, no more, no less.

3) Deputy head

This person usually tries to get "down with the kids". I don't know what it is about deputy heads that makes them want to do this, they clearly don't realise that it's just creepy. However, they are number 3 in the pecking order, so I would do what they tell you to do (to a certain extent. Know your limit) and enjoy your fun-lovin' senior teacher.

4) Other teachers

Meh. You want to get on the good side of most teachers because they do have the ability to give you more homework and no-one wants that.

5) Years 9-11

These people are allowed to be mean to anyone in the years below them, but are also meant to lay their coats down at the feet of the sixth formers.

They have a certain amount of power, but they are also often over-ruled. They are easy to spot by their half-chipped-off nail varnish, rolled up skirts and they are often putting up posters about their lost folders.

6) Dinner ladies

These people are actually very important. I mean, these people serve you your food, they could easily spit in it if you don't treat them well. They will always hold that power over you.

You have the nice dinner ladies and the nasty dinner ladies; the nice ones will always give you extra chips on a Friday and the nasty ones (who are often skinnier) will give you judgemental looks when you get pasta and bread (not that I ever ever ever do that. Never ever.)

7) Year 8s

Almost as annoying as Year 7s, but their voices are slightly less nasal and high pitched. They think it's okay to push in the lunch queue, which it really isn't, but at the same time, there is an element of sweetness about them especially when you see them crying to a teacher because they "lost their hockey stick".

They are distinctive as they have shiny, new shoulder bags, glossy ponytails and they are keen to sign up to as many clubs as possible.

8) Foreign Exchange Students

If you're unable to converse with them, how do you know if they are important or not? Answer: you don't. So they're just floating around down here at number 8.

9) Poo

10) Year 7s

The bane of every person in the school's life. The other students hate 'em, the teachers hate 'em and no-one can blame them really. Every year, the new girls get cockier and cockier. No you cannot push past a year 10 in the queue into assembly and please unlink your arms and stop running down the corridors in group of 20 so there is no room for anyone else. The thought of them makes me annoyed, blegh.

These creatures are quite small, giggly, always have money for the tuck shop and their preferred school bag is either a garishly coloured backpack or the most annoying wheelie suitcase in the world.

Anyway, there you have it- the order which needs always to be instilled in schools. Otherwise, the school could turn into havoc and be shut down.

Stick to this hierarchy like nobody's business and the school experience should be enjoyable for the most part and safe.

M x

I Want To Live My Life Like Cher Horowitz

I know I can't be the only person in the world to have seen Clueless, AND THEN read Emma, the Jane Austen novel it was based on? I may be a bit of a reading geek, but I'm an even bigger Cher Horowitz fan. Not Emma Woodhouse. Definitely not Emma Woodhouse. Even Jane Austen said 'I am going to take a heroine who no one but myself will much like'.
That's the point, we're not meant to like Emma. She's meddling, interfering and spoilt, so surely those characteristics would have been transferred to the adapted film version of Clueless (okay, so artistic license plays a large role but shhh, you're ruining my point). Yet there's something so unbelievably great about Cher in my opinion, and I'm going to try and understand why.

HER WARDROBE

Admittedly, I wear a school uniform at the moment, so I don't have the mad 7am rush of trying to find something on the floor that doesn't smell too offensively appalling to wear, but I do have to dress myself after school and on weekends. And don't we all wish we couldn't have that nifty little contraption of Cher's. Life would be so easy. It might also avoid the guilty embarrassment of finding a photo of yourself from years ago wearing socks and sandals. I'm sure I thought it was a good idea at the time...

HER DAD

Daddy B, I love you, I really do, but you're not a super cool stressed lawyer. You're Head of Distressed Debt (calm down you wildcat), and although I secretly suspect that you're the cool guy of the office (wearing lederhosen to the office Christmas party? Nothing less than badass), it's just not enough for me.
Let's face the facts here. The main reason Cher's dad is my numero uno is because he's called Mel. Yes, Mel Horowitz.

HER FRIENDS

You know you have a true friend when you are both named after has-been pop singers, I'm just saying. We all secretly wanted a friend like Dionne and resented our friends for not being so witty with their comebacks.

But in all seriousness, we all wish we had our Dionne. The totally stable, sensible one who has a boyfriend (although he's a total loser), and who loves your obsession with fashion and makeovers as much as you do. 

As a side note, I will be holding auditions for the Dionne position in my life on Wednesday lunchtime. Form an orderly queue.

PAUL RUDD

Yes, Paul Rudd is one of my (many) geeky crushes, in a long list with others such as Chris O'Dowd, Matthew Lewis and Matt Smith. But, as a brotherless teenage girl, I feel as if I've missed out, in a totally non-weird way. I always wished I had cool older girlfriends to come round and chat, as well as big, comfy sweaters to steal. PARENTS YOU FAILED ME.
Ummm... I forgot where this was going. But yes. Paul Rudd.
That is all.

THE GBF

Any person who says that they don't want a GBF (gay best friend) are either in denial or living under a rock. Imagine having a friend of the opposite sex that you're never worried is going to ask you out to lunch or try and get with you (it's a really tough life being me, clearly. This might only be a problem if I had any friends). But a gay best friend, ahh a gay best friend. Imagine the possibilities.
And Christian. Oh Christian. So suave, so stylish, but far too much gel in the hair. Hagsville.

But, if like me and many others, you can't afford to live the grand ol' life of Cher Horowitz, take my nifty tips to live the 90210 lifestyle without breaking the bank:

• Always have a lipgloss on hand. Always. And then pout.

• Carry a fluffy pen. Normal pens are maybe cheaper, but AS IF!

• Buy colourful clothes!

• Always go to class with a Starbucks. It had better be a skinny flavoured latte!

• Get your maid Lucy (no correlation) to deal with your hideous amounts of washing. Or, if that fails, bribe your mum

(The above tips cannot guarantee you a hot stepbrother)

By the way, Mindy, I'm ditching you and turning this blog into a full time Clueless appreciation website. Someone needs to.

L x