WWVCD: What Would Violet Crawley Do?

So I can't be the only person in the world who felt totally lost on Sunday night due to a lack of dogs bottom/bell ring/upstairs downstairs banter?
I'm A Celebrity, you provided some light Ant and Dec related banter (local boys, bless), but it just wasn't the same.

I often find myself in rather sticky situations, through no fault of my own , although actually 63.7% of the time (ballpark figure), it is actually my fault. I blame my bad decision making, which is cleaaaaaarly, as my horoscope tells me, because I'm a Libra.
So then I often find myself wondering: What Would The Dowager Do? Her extreme wit and self-assurance must really help her out.

So I've managed to compile a list of situations, some more likely to happen to me than others (I have sloth-like tendencies, forgive me). Take a look:

My Boyfriend Dumped Me

ME: FYI, this is unlikely to occur. Not because I am too cool to be dumped and instead do the dumping, but because, err, finding a boyfriend is tough stuff.
But, practicalities aside, I would probably spend a good two weeks crying my eyes out, listening to Taylor Swift and watching Katherine Heigl movies. Elle Woods style, but not in 2001. My life was MUCH better in 2001.

VIOLET CRAWLEY: Just rock it out with a great top knot and a high collar. Show dat booooi what he's missing (hissing is acceptable)

I forgot to do my homework

ME: OH MY GOSH what do I do? What excuse do I use this time? Is my printer not working? Did it run out of ink? Is my computer broken? Did I leave it somewhere? Did I leave in on the kitchen counter? HELP!! Oh, err, the teachers wondering where it is now... Make something up, Lucy, make it up. *mind turns to mush*

VIOLET CRAWLEY: I couldn't do it because I was too busy appreciating my own awesomeness.

Young Apprentice and Masterchef re-runs are on at the same time, help!

ME: Please can someone teach me how to use this blasted Tivo box? I don't know how to record things, eeek.

VIOLET CRAWLEY: Watching neither is necessary. I'm rich so I don't need to make money and I have servants to cook for me (Hey Mrs Patmore)

I can't find my favourite top!

ME: MUUUUUUUUM, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT? This is all your fault, I hate you, why does nothing EVER get done this house? Urgghhhhhhghasjkfhla.

VIOLET CRAWLEY: Chill out girl. Take a leave out of my book and wear high-necked velvet dresses at all times. ALL TIMES.

Mrs Crawley has employed a former prostitute to work in her house

ME: Umm?

VIOLET CRAWLEY: This is totally unacceptable, and I know I should totally leave, but I haven't had dessert yet and it looks DEEEELICIOUS.

However, when the going gets really tough, it's not just the Dowager that I turn to for advice. For example, What Would Cher Horowitz Do (WWCHD)? What Would Bridget Jones Do (WWBJD)? And What Would Snoop Dogg Do (WWSDD)?

Ultimate Partners in Crime

For those of you who don't know, Partners in Crime (PICs) are two people that have some sort of super bond and are really good at what they do, but only when they are together. Often PICs are of the same gender, but PICs are never romantically involved.
For instance, my PIC is Lucy; our "crime" being blogging. If you are still very confused, I am going to list a few of the best/my favourite Partners in Crime and maybe by the end you will have got the gist.

Sherlock and Watson
These two are probably the most iconic Partners in Crime. They were created waaay back when Arthur Conan Doyle first wrote about them in his series of books entitled Sherlock Holmes, in case you didn't know that. There are quite a few adaptations of these two awesome people and I'm not sure which one is my favourite; RDJ and Jude are super banterous and have a fab bromance going on, Benedict Cumberbatch and the naked guy from Love Actually are also great and I love the modern twist, but then there is a new show called Elementary where Watson is a girl! I haven't seen it yet so I can't make any judgements but Lucy Liu is beautiful so I'm sure it'll be good.

Scooby and Shaggy

In this case I am not talking about the Shaggy that insists that nothing was him (everyone's favourite Shaggy), but the one from one of my all time favourite childhood shows- Scooby Doo. Scooby (the talking dog) and Shaggy (the messy human who ate dog food) were inseparable, they used to go off by themselves while Fred was off somewhere being hot, Daphne was off somewhere being awesome and Velma was off somewhere... doing whatever she does...

These guys' "crime" was/is most definitely solving mysteries where the villain is always someone in a suit, and they are very good at helping the rest of the gang do this.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum in 21 Jump Street

I feel like I don't need to say much about these two; if you've seen this, you will know exactly what I'm talking about without needing to say anything, if you haven't go and watch it now. These two are hysterical, they aren't great at their undercover policemen jobs but they kick some serious butt at the end. Plus, Channing Tatum is so hot.

The 10th Doctor and Billie Piper

For those of you not in the know, I am referring to Doctor Who here- the 10th Doctor being David Tennant and Billie Piper being the amazing Rose Tyler. I will try to refrain from venting about how much I love Rose, but let it be known that I still miss her and she hasn't been in an episode for a good few years. David Tennant was the best doctor, and as much as I appreciate Matt Smith, I will always want him to make a random comeback. However, it is these two together that made those seasons so special, these two are actually in love (as he tells her in his last episode where all of his companions came back *tear*) so they are an exception to the 'non-romantically involved' rule. Their "crime" was saving the world, and they did it better than any doctor and companion combo yet.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH DAVID TENNANT AND BILLIE PIPER. I'll stop there.

Spongebob and Patrick

These two are the main men of Bikini Bottom, who else could live in a pineapple under the sea and who else could get away with wearing such casual shorts everyday of his life? I love how a talking sponge and suspiciously pink starfish are the best of friends, it's adorable. They both have equally strange voices, and I think their area of expertise is probably working in some way at the Krusty Krab. I don't see how you cant love these two PICs.

Phineas and Ferb

Despite Phineas having a super annoying sister called Candice and them owning a turquoise platypus who just happens to be a secret agent on the side, these two still manage to have time to do new and entertaining things everyday to amuse themselves during their 104 days of summer 'vacation'. They are the bestest of friends even though Ferb rarely talks, and when he does it's with this ridiculously posh English accent. Sidenote: why is Ferb's hair green and how come Phineas is already balding?

The Cheeky Girls

Ha ha, just kidding. Not even sure what they were trying to achieve.

I know this isn't a very long list of PICs, but I hope you understand what they are now if you didn't before.

Maybe I'll continue this in the near future (probably not), but for now I am going to watch some old Doctor Who reruns.

M x

16 Sucks

On my 13th birthday, I received several cards all containing the following message:

'Your teenage years will be the best of your life'

I'm calling it. The teenage years SUCK (What To Expect When You're Expecting Reference there. Anyone get it? No? Ok, let's move on). I don't really know what I was expecting it to be like as I lay in bed on the night before my 13th birthday but, lets be honest, it probably was a lot like Katy Perry's 'Teenage Dream' with just a dash of awesome fashion sense and flowing, golden, shiny locks. Oh, and throw in just a smidgen of Mika's 'We Are Golden'. Because I wore leg warmers and thought I was born into the wrong era at the age of thirteen. Should've been an 80's child.
In fact, on halloween when I was thirteen, when the rest of the 13 year old population were dressing up as witches and the odd few that dressed up as slutty nurses (we all know those people), I dressed up as an 80's fairy. Leg warmers, bright eye shadow and all.
Alas, how wrong I was. I've spent the past three years working my butt off with so little social interaction they should probably lock me up in a psych ward. For five days a month I feel as if I'm being punched in my stomach and my money resources are being drained by Feminax and hair dye. I am dependant on caffeine to get me through the day and I've stopped growing. Actually, scrap that, the doctor told me that I have actually shrunk. Yes, shrunk.
















And yeah, sometimes the future can seem exciting. You know, university, growing up, starting a family. Until you realise that university will leave you with debt for years, growing up will mean you can no longer use your parents as sources of food/money/cuddles and starting a family will mean sleepless nights and a strain on your already depleted financial resources (see university). The futures bright. (The futures Orange)
But hey, I know there are two sides to every story and I'll admit I'm being a bit of a Negative Nancy. Admittedly, I can know buy sparklers, liqueur chocolates and get married (see Crazy Things You Can Do At 16), but *puts angry cap back on*,  that doesn't even compare with the hideous amounts of responsibility that come with growing up. I know millions, even billions of people have passed the age of sixteen and seem to be behaving as relatively sane human beings, but it doesn't seem like this will ever pass.
I have defined this current phase as my Quarter Life Crisis. Let me explain. Every evening I need a hot chocolate. And by need, I mean, NEED. I shuffle round, back hunched, head down and I think I'm turning into an old lady. I buy old lady shoes, I tut at disrespectful members of society and I've developed a recent obsession for Werther's Originals. And Pointless seems to be my current programme of choice, classic.

So yes. To summarise:

• GCSEs suck (especially IGCSES. don't get me started)
• Life becomes impossible without coffee and hot chocolate
• I'm an old lady in a teenagers body

L x

How to Style: Remembrance Day Poppies

I really like getting a poppy to commemorate the lives lost in WW1. I enjoy wearing it every year on 11/11 and supporting the Poppy Appeal. However, I've often felt that I don't get the most out of my paper flower past that one day and want to. So, in this blog, I have come up with some classy and original ideas of how to wear your poppy after the 11th November. Plus, if you tear the leaf off the side of your flower then no-one will have any clue about where you got your wonderful new accessory ...

Guaranteed you'll be the talk of the town for ages after.

Nb. This blog is only relevant to those who buy the disposable paper poppies, not those newfangled metal badge ones.

1) Hair accessory

Often felt your bog standard ponytails are dull? Jazz them up a little, stick the green stem into your hair anywhere you like, making sure to hide it though. Voila! Groovy hair for every occasion.

2) Buttons

Stash up on poppies. Throw on a casual shirt, button it up, squeeze the stem into the buttonholes (probably one every 2 holes, depending on spacing of buttons). Now you can wear this once-regular shirt to all sorts of black-tie events.

3) Belt buckles

I regularly think that companies design and manufacture belts that are too plain. Now you can change that, slot the stem into the buckle itself and you will look like the coolest cat in the neighbourhood. Make sure the poppy is secure, we want to try and avoid any awkward poppy-slipping situations.

4) Shoes

This one can only be done with lace-up shoes unfortunately. Personally, I would pick some nice black shoes for this so the poppy really stands out, but feel free to experiment. Tie your shoes as you normally would, but tuck the bow inside your shoe so it isn't visible, push the poppy stem under the laces and try to conceal it as far as physically possible. Now not only will people be mesmerised by how your shoes are staying on your feet with only poppies to hold them on, but your shoes have so much more style than before.

(Not recommended for rainy days)

5) Glasses

You'll need some artistic licence, 2 poppies and double sided sticky tape for this one. Get any old pair of glasses, seeing or sun, cut the stem off your poppies [Please be supervised by an adult when using scissors.] and stick some double sided tape on the back of them (alternatively, use normal tape and turn them into inside-out loops: DIY double sided sellotape), next stick your poppies to each lens of your chosen pair of glasses. Wear them with pride. You won't be able to see, but you will feel and look fabulous. Expect admiring glances from strangers, not that they'll be visible to you though.

I hope I have helped you make some poppy fashion choices and that on 12th November you won't be lost for wardrobe ideas. Don't forget to buy loads of poppies this week because it's for a really good cause, and after 11/11 you can use some of the above tips to be more chic than the Queen herself.

Disclaimer: LackadaisicalInLondon will not be held responsible for any bullying that may occur to you when you experiment with styling memorial poppies.

M x

Elmo Cupcakes

So this has been something I have wanted to do for a really long time now, and just needed the excuse to do it. I'm not often allowed to go near the kitchen (apparently I make too much mess. Mess Schmess!), but this once I was given the freedom of a clean, empty kitchen and a few hours to make some birthday cupcakes. Yes, I make my own birthday cupcakes. Judge me all you want.

You will need:

Chocolate Cupcakes (find the recipe I use here!)

Buttercream

Red food colouring (use paste food colouring!)

Orange buttons

Black fondant

White fondant

To make the fondant facial features, dust the work surface with cornflour and roll out the fondant icing to a thickness of 2mm. Use cutters to create the shape you want or, alternatively if you don't have any, creating a template using cardboard and cut around that (I did this for the mouth).

I know, I should explain why on earth I have made Sesame Street themed cupcakes. No, I'm not totally obsessed with small, fuzzy creatures who are obsessed with little children, but I actually have a little dog named Elmo. Don't ask. It wasn't my choice.

But my baby is my pride and joy, even though I have a serious inkling that he might hate me. But that doesn't stop me making these cupcakes.

Here are my two main men: Elmo and Elmo!

Awwwwww cyoot!

Yes, my birthday dinner was the finale in the two week long major bonanza that was my birthday celebration. What a great birthday. Hey, only 350 days until my 17th birthday. AAAAAAAAAND ALL TOGETHER:

'You are sixteen going on seventeen!'

L x

Trick or Treating: Out of style?

I wasn't in London for Halloween this year, so I am writing this completely from an outsider/onlooker's point of view, however, I cannot help having the slight feeling that there weren't as many greedy little children running about on the streets, dressed in unconvincing costumes, getting as many sweets from generous neighbours as they can get their hands on.
In the vastly child-populated area of East Sheen, my friend only received 3 batches of trick-or-treaters and another no more than 5. Lucy also received very few knocking kids and proceeded to eat all of the remaining sweets (fatty...).
There is a well known rule in the annual trick-or-treating trade that you don't knock on a door unless they have a pumpkin or another type of Halloween-themed decoration visible. I know that all of my friends had decorations, I even helped the one in East Sheen carve hers, so people would definitely know that they would have sweets at the ready for the costumed children.
This has led me to think that maybe trick-or-treating is becoming less fashionable and, who knows, maybe in a few years it will become a thing of the past and the tradition will come to an end.
I have tried to think of some reasons as to why this activity that I used to love as a child has been less popular this year and here are my reasons:

1) Parents
The objective for trick-or-treaters, or at least what it was for me, is to get as many sweets as possible (side note: there was a woman down my street who actually gave out money instead of sweets. She was brilliant. My sister once got £20 from her.) Sweets are not too great for kids' dental hygiene, apparently too many can rot your teeth or something dumb like that? I've also heard down the grapevine that an excess of sugar is bad for your health and can result in obesity? People keep coming up with the craziest notions. Therefore, parents are probably getting less and less keen on sending their children out and doing something that can result in tooth decay. Also, big fat bummer if your mum or dad's a dentist.

2) Religion
Let's face it, Halloween started as a pagan festival; it originated from people celebrating the devil. For this reason, religious people (or just those who shun the devil) technically shouldn't like Halloween. There is a possibility that the strict religious parents are disallowing their offspring to go trick-or-treating more as of late and this could be a reason for the decrease in wee tykes knocking on doors.

3) Credit Crunch
I feel like I am just making excuses for society now, but this could be a perfectly valid reason for the lack of trick-or-treaters this year. As the majority of the planet knows, our current economy is not looking too wonderful, I won't bore you with facts or anything (mainly because I don't know them) but it means that people are getting increasingly stingy with their money. So stingy that they may not want to spend a few pounds in their nearest supermarket to buy a bumper pack of sweets to give to the street children. This is totally fine, people can do what they want with their money, but it does mean that there are less houses for kids to go to for sweets so they might not want to go out, resulting in not so many trick-or-treaters overall.

4) Kids these days
The world is a changing place, people are changing children are becoming rowdier and scarier, you don't want those crazy young 'uns climbing in your windows, snatching your people up, trying to rape 'em, so you better hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband 'cause they're raping everybody out there. Oh no wait, different story. Anyway, you get the idea; people are afraid of the London kidz (the 'z' is deliberate), why would they want some noisy, annoying children coming in their doorway; why should these people deserve their treats?
Also, kids are becoming more spoilt and bratty and they continue to ignore the second rule of Halloween- you only ever take one sweet from each house. All this discourages families from buying sweets for the trick-or-treaters and bothering to carve pumpkins etc.

Anyway, for any/all/none of the above reasons, there were less trick-or-treaters out and about this year than in previous years, c'mon London, this is not okay! Get off your fat butts kids, chuck on some dark coloured clothing and draw on whiskers- you're a cat- then grab a plastic bag, step outside (preferably with some friends), knock on some doors (only the ones with pumpkins), say "trick-or-treat" lots and get yourself some sweets (or money if you live around me). It's so easy and so fun. It also helps if you do this on 31st October, any day after that and you might get some strange looks.

Not sure why I felt compelled to attach such a creepy picture, I just did. (My favourite is the leopard-child who looks like her trousers have fallen down. The astronaut-tinman is also great.)

There is also a possibility that I am way off and there was triple the amount of trick-or-treaters as usual this year and I have completely the wrong end of the stick. This is highly probable seeing as I wasn't out upon the streets terrorising my neighbourhood and taking their sugary products myself.
Either way, you're never too old to trick-or-treat and I don't think this is a tradition that should ever end.

M x

Dream Team TV Family

Before I begin, I love my actual family. My dad is the tall, sensible one with the slight Scottish accent, my mum is the huggable teddy bear who won't let me bake because 'I am messy'. And my, admittedly annoying, sister who is blonde, high-pitched but has quite good fashion sense.
But, ahah, I have another family, but alas they live in a glass box in my living. This is, of course, my TV family.

Rachel Green - Friends

I cannot be the only one to wish Friends could come back now, 10 years later, with a teenage Emma. We all wanted to see how she turned out. Yes, I want Rachel Green as my mother. The epitome of cool, she has worked at a coffee shop, worked at Bloomingdales (you should know it's my favourite department store in New York) and god knows what she would be doing nowadays (look, I know Friends wasn't real. Don't let my dream die). Plus, if you had her genes, there would be a good chance that you would have those great, flowing locks.
Let's not mention the Ross Geller part, people.

Lily - Modern Family

She's so devious, yet adorable. And, as demonstrated by her fathers, she isn't afraid of a little dressing up. I feel a certain connection to young children and toddlers, probably because they understand my difficulties in communication and expression, so I knew I had to include a toddler in this list. And Lily's adorable and is able to rock a mid-blue tone like I never could.  Did I mention she's adorable?

Blaine Anderson - Glee

OK, so I'm pretty flexible on this subject. He would make a great older brother or, alternatively, a great friend. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that I've always wanted a GBF. But a GBB will also do the trick. Let's face the facts, he's strongly into his knitwear, he can sing and can actually rock a hat (unsure as to whether that is an admirable trait). That's a sibling you don't mind singing in the shower.

George O'Malley - Grey's Anatomy

Ok, so I'm only on Season 2, where Dr O'Malley still has the floppy locks and is so hooked on Meredith Grey (tramp). But George O'Malley is my twin of choice. The puppy dog eyes make him like a loveable puppy and you can just tell he's a good hugger. Enveloping and warm, I'd say. And you know you're always safe with a George. Safe name.
We'll see how this one goes, I've been talking to my other Grey's-addicted friends and they never mention O'Malley as one of their favourites (then again, they're waaaay further in than me), so maybe he's turn out to be a flesh eating monster, and then I'll probably reconsider his role as twin of choice.


I've spent a lot of time thinking this one over and, as much as I love all of these TV characters, I'll stick with my own family thanks. They love Christmas almost as much as I do and they understand my obsessive need for English Breakfast tea, with not too much milk.
But don't worry folks, I will aaaaaaaaalways loooooooove you (apart from you George. I love you now but it's a little temperamental)

L x

Watch out for another post, Dream Team TV Friends, coming soon, to get an even deeper insight into the odd, slightly eccentric mind of the pale, nearly ginger freak.