FILM: Perks Of Being A Wallflower

Ok, so unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past 13 years, you will have heard about Perks (yes, it was first published in 1999). Being only three years old at the time, I didn't rush out to buy it, but took my time (12 years in fact), to go out and read it.
CAN I EVEN DESCRIBE HOW GOOD THE BOOK WAS? No. I'm no literary genius. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out there was to be a film adaptation. And you cannot even begin to comprehend the joy bubbling up inside of me when I found that it was to be (sex-god) Logan Lerman playing Charlie.

If you haven't read the book, go out and do so this instant. Or we can't be friends.

And if you haven't seen the trailer, prepare for your mind to be blown.

Let me set the scene for you. It's a wednesday break time, approximately 10:37AM and I'm sitting in the classroom most probably complaining about how the Year 7's are the only ones who can afford to buy things at tuck shop. Mindy, and her massive flop of ginger hair (sorry), bounds in, grinning like a hyena (sorry) and looking far too much like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Two minutes later, it's 10:39AM and suddenly I couldn't give a damn about the Year 7's BECAUSE I'M GOING TO THE GALA SCREENING OF PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER.

The next eight hours fly by. Sorry French teacher, I do not want to learning about 'les vacances' right now. I have some crying to do.

It's 18:37, and I have just eyed up Emma Watson wearing some absolutely hideous black peplum number. I'm sorry Emma, it's not personal. I just don't do peplum.
After being ushered into a big, plush screening room, we sit and try to wait out the 20 minutes before the screening begins. Stop biting your nails, Lucy. Logan Lerman won't love you if you bite your nails.
(Little side note here, Mindy has placed dibs on Logan Lerman. But that's okay. She doesn't know Chace Crawford is mine)
And all of a sudden, Emma Watson (and the black spaceship placed on her waist) is standing six feet away from me, talking about how much she enjoyed making the film.

And then it begins.

Why on earth is Logan Lerman sitting alone at lunch?
After watching the film, I can confirm that the school is full of utter bumheads. And I know Logan Lerman is meant to be all 'alone and wallflower-y' but seriously? He's clearly the hottest guy in that school.

Hmm, Paul Rudd makes the best English teacher ever

In fact, just the best teacher ever. I wouldn't mind becoming friends with him, what's wrong with you Logan? And he has such good taste in books.

'Welcome to the land of misfit toys'
Ok, this is where my problem with you begins, Emma. I didn't like the thought of you playing Sam when I found out. But then again, I didn't like the character of Sam.
But anyway, this happens to be the first of many horribly, ridiculously cringe-worthy things that she says in the film. And the bad American accent doesn't help, love.

'BE AGGRESSIVE, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!'

 Classic. But I didn't notice this bit in the film. Maybe it got cut out, or maybe I was too busy crying to soak it all in.
And Ezra Miller, could you have been more perfect for the role of Patrick? I think not.

Emma Watson, you're just totally creeping me out...
Her stare-out with the camera at this moment is totally off-putting and, once again, cringe-worthy. I'm sorry Hermione, I really am.

...But she totally recovers
Confession: I've never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but now I want to even more. Ezra was just fab. Umm, you too Emma, I guess.

'Call it "Slut and the Falcon", make us solve crimes!'
One word, HI-LAR-I-OUS. That is all.

'We accept the love we think we deserve'
After reading the book, I became obsessed with this quote. OBSESSED. I wrote it on all my school files and I tweeted it a few times too many. But it's a great quote.
But Charlie, stop taking credit from that quote. We all know it was your English teacher who told it to you.

 'And in that moment, I swear we were infinite'
Another fab quote, but now so overused. If I see one more person write in on their hand, I refuse to be held responsible for my actions.
But this moment occurs at the end of the film, and let's be honest, you'll probably have cried countless times and you'll have accepted that nothing will ever be as good as that moment (and if this is not the case, you're a heartless human being). And this is just the cherry on the cake. Because you're like 'CHARLIE IS NO LONGER A WALLFLOWER, HE HAS FRIENDS'.

Trust me, I'll be seeing it again when it comes out.

L x