An Ode To Brunch

To say that I liked brunch would be a massive understatement. I love brunch almost as much as I love the  fact that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are now both single (though it sucks for Flynn and romantics everywhere, I think I could easily bag either of them. No? Ok...), Yes, I really like brunch. Honestly, what is not to love about brunch? You get to eat bacon,  A LOT OF BACON at the slightly later hour that brunch requires. You get to natter and catch up with friends. You get to stuff your face because it's two meals right?!

Did I mention you get to eat bacon?!

At first, I was of the naive assumption that you could brunch with anyone. I believed that this was a food-focused event and the company was only there to stop you eating your bacon alone and tell you politely that you've had enough to eat. But how wrong I was.

Your brunch crew is a fundamental component of a good bruncheon. Take a leaf out of the book of the girls from Sex and the City and brunch with your closest friends who you don't necessarily see a lot. Then, you've got a lot to catch up on and the light chit-chat is the perfect accompaniment for eating too much. Let's be real here, you've really got to know the special people. It can't just be anyone. I would even be wary of going to brunch with a member of the opposite sex. What if they don't appreciate the sanctity of brunch and all that it entails? I'm just saying, be careful, folks.

Now, I wouldn't consider myself to be the ultimate expert on the best brunch locations in London, because I am sure that there are some hidden gems that me and my friends are yet to discover. But I thought I'd share with you some of my favourite brunch locations around the city.

Bill's
A classic choice. A branch of Bill's can be throughout London, such as Chiswick, Richmond, Wimbledon, Kensington and Islington, and also outside of London in locations such as Bath and Oxford. So you're never too far from a Bill's and those incredible blueberry pancakes.

VQ
YOU CAN GET PANCAKES 24 HOURS A DAY!!!! Yes, this is a 24 hour brunch spot in the heart of Chelsea so there is really no excuse not to brunch.

Muriel's Kitchen
Because it is just a stone's throw away from South Kensington station, Muriel's is the perfect place to meet up with friends before heading off shopping to burn off all those well-deserved brunch calories.

Upsy Daisy Bakery
Anyone special in my life gets taken to the Upsy Daisy Bakery as a sort of initiation into the proper elite. It's one of those tucked away gems that no one really knows about, but it's everything you would want from a casual brunch. I love it.

The Riding House Cafe
I'll admit it, I've never actually visited this brunch haven, but the little green monster within me summons itself every time someone I know hashtags #ridinghousecafe on Instagram. I'm jealous, ok?

Dishoom
Another one that I haven't visited for brunch, but I can vouch for their bombay-style evening menu. The evening food was absolutely delicious, even if it is one of those 'trendy' no-book places. If their brunch is half as good as the rest of it, I'm sure it's a real treat.



Continuing with my life-long dream of being a part of a John Hughes movie, I would like to suggest a sort of gang. Much like 'The Breakfast Club'.

But instead. 'The Brunch Club'...

Applications will be accepted from early 2014 with a formal interview being conducted shortly thereafter.

L x

What Disney Villains Make us Think About the Royal Family

I don't actually think that any of the following things were intentional. Yes, Walt Disney was a wee bit on the racist side but, as far as we know, he wasn't anti-monarchist as well. Perhaps we should thaw him and ask.

Chances are, (slightly) overweight females will steal your voice and try to marry your man

Those with freaky headwear will put you into a long sleep with their knitting tools

Likes animals? Wants to kill your dad

If they have wispy hair, there is no doubt that they have ulterior motives to do with wearing all the dalmatians as coats

If he's balding he probably has no qualms about catnapping

The fact that he has long dark hair and a moustache directly correlates with him being a pirate and hating children in pyjamas 

The likeness is uncanny though

Always be suspicious about the pretty, brunette new girl

PEOPLE WITH ENGLISH ACCENTS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED!!!!!

Agh crap... that's awkward

But don't worry, there'll always be a trusty ginger around to kick butt and save their family

My damage here is done. (My imagination is so weird)
M x

PS. I lusm the queen

How To Be More Like Kate Middleton: The Royal Guide

I have only three main goals/resolutions for the looming year ahead and they are as follows:

1. To become better at decision making (blaming my indecisiveness on my star sign - Libra's are supposedly rubbish at making important choices)
2. Read 25 quality books
3. Be more like Kate Middleton

I'm not even joking with the last one. Kate Middleton is far from being short of admirers, and, without exaggerating, I certainly believe that we could all learn a thing or two from her. Buzz Feed even published an article yesterday titled '27 Times Kate Middleton Proved She Was The Most Flawless Human in 2013'

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else...

This woman can really do no wrong. She has a baby - she looks good. She goes to boring events - she looks good. She stands next to Prince Harry - she looks good. So, in 2014, it is my aim, no, my duty, to be a bit more like Kate Middleton. If you decide to be a copy cat, follow my decisive guide to being just a smidgen more like Her Royal Highness.

(Being decisive and following in K-Middy's footsteps. Killing two resolutions with one stone before 2014 has even begun. Kicking butt already, I like it.)

The Hair
Can we just stand back and appreciate how Kate Middleton's hair always remains beautifully wavy without falling flat? In my quest to be more like my dearest princess, I bought some large curling tongs so I too could get the oh-so typical Kate waves.

HA. HA. HA. Good one.

I think the curlers thought that they could trick me, because basically achieving any type of wave that is acceptable to leave the house in is very difficult indeed. And when it does go vaguely right, it is so momentous that it requires at least 15 selfies and a Snapchat to everyone you know.

Can I also just say that it's a really nice colour?

The fashion
Because I'm not a mega-millionaire/not everyone would bend over backwards for a lock of my hair, I can't afford Kate's stylish yet demure wardrobe, I'm going to have to try and re-create sophistication on a much smaller budget. Tips to consider:

• There is no outfit that a jacket cannot improve
• Princesses can wear jeans
• A hat can improve an outfit. However, there is a strict line between fascinating (tried to make a hat joke. Failed to make a hat joke) and Princess Beatrice and Eugenie.
• Being pregnant is no excuse for slacking in the style department (hopefully this will not be a problem for me in 2014. Well, apart from this post-Christmas food baby)

The Make-Up
Such a perfect human being probably does not need any physical adjustments, but those she makes just bring out the little green monster in me. Once again, her access to the best brands definitely have an involvement in the angelic glow-y quality of her skin. Ethereal even.

She doesn't over-do it on the make-up, coz she's a princess lyk, but always takes a tip from yours truly (or so I let myself believe) by always using just a touch of eye-liner to emphasise the eyes.

Of course, for a more comprehensive guide, follow this WikiHow on how you can replicate K-Middy's make-up at home. I tried to find a guide complete with cheesy, absurd stock images... but, alas, with little avail. This one will have to suffice.

The Smile

SMILE AND WAVE, KATE. SMILE AND WAVE.

Well, I mean, apparently it's down to thousands of pounds spent on dental whitening, but it's nothing that cannot be replicated at home. Easily available, whitening shampoo or an at-home whitening kit will be needed.

But, more importantly, the trick is to know when to smile. To keep things simple, just smile when out in public. It's what Her Royal Highness would do.

The Work
Even managed to divide this one into two sub-sections. I'm pretty fancy. Much like Kate.

Education - She became even more sophisticated in my mind when I realised that she studied History of Art at St Andrews University. It just seems like a sophisticated subject.
So, to be more like her, ditch all of your true ambitions and do History of Art. It may bag you a prince.

Charity work - Yes, she probably has to get involved to keep up the image and whatever. But, she does genuinely seem like she cares and is passionate about what she gets involved with and wants to use her status to make a difference. So why not, in 2014, aim to better yourself by trying to better the lives of others.
Now that's a thought.



Right now, I may be more 'The Princess Diaries' than the Royal Princess, but we can all hope/pray that by the end of 2014 I am just a little bit more sophisticated/classy/princess-y.
Keep me in your New Year's prayers
L x

The 5 Best New TV Shows of 2013

Bates Motel
This show is the perfect mix of scary and... I lie, it's just plain scary. But brilliant. It has Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp version) and the blonde boy from Nancy Drew in it; what more could you possibly want form a TV show?
Yes, this show does have its creepy aspects (murder... taxidermy...) but the plot is excellent. I haven't even seen Psycho, the movie this series is a prequel to, but I really enjoy seeing the earlier lives of Norma and Norman Bates unfold.
Luckily for me, we will get a second season of this show in the Summer. Yay!


Twisted
I was pleasantly surprised by this show. I was kind of expecting it to be rubbish, ABC Family don't exactly have the greatest track record (The Lying Game, The Fosters...) and I was apprehensive about seeing Beck from Victorious play any other role than Beck from Victorious. However, this show is genuinely good and Beck from Victorious is a really talented actor. Of course, it has its faults: Jo, one of the main trio, is so annoying; some storylines are poorly explained as well, but we only saw half of the first season in the Summer so hopefully all will be revealed in January when the rest of the season is aired. I'm pumped.



Orphan Black
I cannot put the genius and amazingness of this show into words. This show is too good. I'm pretty sure Tatiana Maslany is the greatest actress of all time. She is Canadian but her English accents (yes she does multiple types of English accent) and her Russian accent are flawless. The idea is incredible and the way the story unfolds in this pilot season is amazing.
I cannot wait for the second season.


Camp
This show was so good! The characters were so loveable and I genuinely looked forward to each episode from one week to the next.
Unfortunately NBC and the American viewers did not have the same sentiments as me because the show has been cancelled and will not get a second season. Sadness.


Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
I still haven't actually watched every episode of this show but I've seen about half of the episodes and I really enjoyed them, when I get some spare time I will finish the season. The show's premise is a really good one, everyone loves Marvel and we can all unanimously agree that Agent Coulson was the best thing about the Avengers movie. Spoiler alert: he doesn't die in the Avengers.
The worst thing about this show is the super cringy British genius duo who say such lame things and seem a bit useless, to be honest.
So far, there isn't much of a continuing plotline but that could just be because their still in the introductory period. Unfortunately, we will never get to know this show because it isn't getting another season.


It may look like I've written about every new show of 2013, but that is not the case. I missed out quite a big 'un:
Ravenswood. Worst spin-off series ever. I really hope ABC Family comes to their senses and returns Caleb to Pretty Little Liars soon.
This is obviously all my opinion, you may have hated all of the shows I loved and adored Ravenswood.

That's enough from the TV addict. I cannot wait for all the new shoes we'll see in 2014.
M x

Thing That Make you Stop Following Someone on Twitter

I like to keep the number of accounts that I follow between about 143-147 at all times which means that whenever I follow someone, I also unfollow someone else. To choose whom to unfollow I look for certain points in their tweets/bio, here are some of them:

1) Too Many Tweets
I'm talking to you Joey Essex. It's not exactly like his life is riveting. We see all the good bits on TOWIE.
Seriously, there is no need to update us on every little thing you do, just the exciting things (which is only everything if you are one of the characters in Pretty Little Liars).

For these emotional anecdotes and more: @JoeyEssex_

Those bananas are gross.

2) Too Much Ranting
At the end of the day, most people use twitter to find out what the celebs have been up to; their eating habits, what they fed their dogs etc.
I appreciate that it is a good place to get your point of view out there but seriously, people who write those tweets all about respecting their family and how they would never disrespect their fans are not my faves. Especially when those tweets are so long that they have to write 3 tweets in order to convey their point. It's boring. If you really need to say those things, start a blog.
Also, we get you're angry, no need for all the CAPITALS and exclamation marks!!!!!

All this and more from @khloekardashian (and the other Kardashians)

3) Zero Humour
It is very important that one has a mildly funny Twitter bio. For example, your biography is not a good place to put links to your instagram account and it is in no way smart to write your BBM Pin here; at the same time, when I say funny I mean original and actually humorous  for example, a certain TV actress put "I play the main character in **** ** *****" in her bio (I starred out the show name just in case she reads our blog), I'm assuming she was trying to be funny but it's awkward because she is probably the 3rd main character so it could also be assumed that she is on way too high of a horse and thinks she's the actual main character. Also, those lame ones that say something like "140 characters is not enough" are not okay either. Something witty about your love of cats is always appreciated.
Make your tweets funny too, tweets that actually make me laugh out loud are the best. For a celebrity who gets the balance between humorous and sweet just right look to Jennette McCurdy (@JennetteMcCurdy). Her Vines are also comic genius.

4) Grammar Errors and Spelling Mistakes
It is no secret here that I am somewhat of a grammar freak, the "you and I"/"you and me" thing bothers me when people are talking so you can imagine the way that I pull at my hair when I see tweets including mistakes such as:
"I would of done this..."
"Wear are you going?"
"Your wearing a really nice dress today, Kim Kardashian"
The latter could also be an error of judgement because Kimmy K's clothing has been questionable since... forever.
Then there's the spelling mistake. So easy to do, yet such dire consequences.
Not sure what aspect of custard and sticky toffee pudding put pressure on my favourite tweeter Joey Essex but at least the custard was ready to serve. Also, bummer about only having two night horses, I guess he must have wanted three...

And poor Sarah Hyland, she was just a tiny bit tired, accidentally made a small grammatical/spelling error
and her "fans" immediately picked up on it.

5) Indirects
For those of you who don't know what indirects are, it is when someone tweets something that is so obviously about someone else. It is just about the most passive aggressive dig out there. You never tag the person that you're subliminally talking about in the tweet but somehow they find it, work out it's about them, and then reply indirectly leading to a full on indirect twitter war.
They are so so so so so annoying and unnecessary, if you have a problem with someone tell it to them anonymously on ask.fm (just kidding, that's cyber-bullying. Please don't do that.)

Some stellar examples that I had too much fun finding

6) Excessive Vanity
This is more of an instagram thing but seriously people, you wouldn't post a selfie if you really thought it was #digsusting and that you are #sougly, would you?
Plus, attaching a really pouty selfie with a tweet that has nothing to do with your appearance is just weird and unnecessary.

I realise that this post might just look like one giant indirect message to various people that I follow on twitter but that is what this blog is for. Basically.
I hope that I am not the only one who dislikes the above things and I don't look like a massive twitter hater now because I'm really not.

M x

The 10 Dodgiest Christmas Songs Of All Time

Sadly, not everyone can be a Michael Bublé and be able to sum up Christmas spirit using his sweet vocal chords. For our returning post (sorry), because it is only five days until Santa comes and because we are horribly cynical, we have created a compilation of the 10 most bizarre Christmas songs/covers out there. You're welcome.

Insert Awkward reference here, obviously

'Baby It's Cold Outside'

Listen to the lyrics of the song.

Think of date rape.

Listen to the lyrics of the song again.

We couldn't post the original video, sung by Tom Jones & Cerys Matthews, because it scarred us too much and we wouldn't want to impose that on anybody else. (Again, you're welcome) 

But really, watch ahead. Viewer discretion advised. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Special mention should go to Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey for making a creepy song even more disturbing.  We're not saying that this cover was the reason for their ridiculously upsetting divorce, but they never denied it either. 

Destiny's Child '8 Days of Christmas'
Don't get us wrong, we absolutely adore this song and all that Beyoncé, Kelly (and Michelle) brought to the table during their reign, but the concept of the song is just a tad weird.
Like, is this the song about the less generous boyfriend that bought his shawty cars and dirty denim jeans for the first 8 days of Christmas but then abandoned the final four days. Awkard breakup? Probably Michelle's fault.

Chris Brown 'This Christmas'

'Nuff said

Justin Bieber 'Drummer Boy'
Busta Rhymes came out of hibernation for this? His rap is almost incomprehensible and it is unforgivable to mention Twitter twice in a Christmas song.
Attention must be drawn to the creepy part when Biebs says "glow" for about 5 minutes. It's a good thing JB is retiring so we'll never have to hear his dodgy rapping ever again.

N Sync 'Merry Christmas Happy Holidays'
WE LOVE YOU NSYNC COME BACK TO US.
But srsly guiz, did you have to? You are a group of four grown white men, you will never be able to sound like a gospel choir, don't even try.
We lusm though.

East 17 'Stay Another Day'
This is the best song of all time, let alone Xmas song. But the video. My god, the video.
It's like the producers had just discovered Windows Movie Maker and East 17 themselves had just discovered ski jackets. It is so weird. What's with all the zooming and that random veiled lady that occasionally pops up?
Shout out to the one with the dodgy teeth who wore a baseball cap under his furry hood throughout the whole video.

David Hasselhoff - The Night Before Christmas album
Special mention to 'Feliz Navidad'. There is something undeniably creepy about the Hoff and he doesn't quite capture the festive vibe. Not for us at least. Maybe hairy stomached men are your type.

Steps 'Merry X-Mas Everybody' 
This song is so Steps, it's unreal. They've taking a well known classic xmas tune, auto-tuned themselves into it and added a strong drum machine backing track; ie. They have Stepsicised it.
This song is great but you should just listen to the original.
Shout out to the robot who sings a bit in the middle.

TOWIE cast 'Last Christmas'
Where to begin with this one...
The talking... (especially the awful bit with Mario and Lucy) (and the lovely "I can't wait to get my christmas vajazzle" from Sam)
The flashbacks to episodes... (in black and white nonetheless)
The fact none of them can sing.... (Don't even try Gemma)
All of it really.
It's also so weird that barely any of the Essex residents in the music video are in the show anymore.

Disney Channel - The Greatest Hits
This isn't just one song. It's a whole album of Christmas songs from the OG Disney kids. And Billy Ray Cyrus.
Special mentions to Kyle Massey's Hip Hop Carol and the Jonas Brothers' bizarrely titled 'Girl of My Dreams'.

So there you have it. The 10 dodgiest Christmas songs/covers of all time.

We hope you have a brilliant Christmas filled with all sorts of wonderful, and less wonderful, songs.
The two of us are going to try and make a big effort in 2014 to blog regularly without the interval of 8 months...

M and L x (yes, we did this one together)

2013: A Great Year

This is very premature and I'm probably jinxing it, but I want to go ahead and say it before someone tells us that the Mayans actually meant that the world would end this year: 2013 is going to be a good year. I know that we're only 4 months in and London has had some pretty shoddy weather but there are some signs that this year has gotten off to a positive start.

Jonas Brothers  

I don't know if you have seen the JoBro's new music video or heard their new song, Pom Poms, (it is possible that I am all of the 1,000,000 views) but it is great [watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y8lBABvRcs]. Hat's off to you Joe, Nick and Jonas-no-one-cares-about, you have written a song that is not only super catchy but contains loads of euphemisms! Plus the video is really entertaining, (although it would be appreciated if you grew your hair back Nick) it features dancing and a marching band. What's more, the stars of Jonas LA are going on tour this Summer!

I truly believe that this is only the start of the Jonas Brothers' major comeback after 4 years, (even though they never really broke up because they're blood related) and that is enough to brighten anyone's 2013. Unless you are a JoBro hater.

Justin Timberlake
In the same way that the Jonas Brothers are back with a killer new song and tour, so is JT. He has a new album, called The 20/20 Experience, which includes the unbelievably catchy songs Mirrors, Suit and Tie and Pusher Love. Plus he is going on tour with Jay Z, called the Legends of Summer tour, and will be playing at some UK festivals this summer, including Wireless. The now married, ex Nsync member is definitely back in a big way and he is here to serenade us into and throughout a wonderful 2013.

Fall Out Boy
This year really seems to be the year of comebacks! I am so excited that these guys are back together and have already released two amazing singles, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark and The Phoenix. One of the videos even has 2 Chainz in the video, as well as some fire.
FOB haven't released an album in a couple of years and Pete Wentz was never mentioned in One Tree Hill after season 3. Sadness.
But now they're back and going to be performing at Reading Festival in the summer!

Royal Baby

I know that this was announced yonks ago now and this is practically old news, despite the fact that Duchess Kate is still suspiciously showing no signs of having a baby growing inside of her, however, the baby will be born in 2013! William/Kate Junior will be born sometime in the summer-ish, so that is something to look forward to within this year, and I just have my fingers crossed that the baby's Christening will be a public holiday and there are more great street parties.

Kimye Baby

Another royal baby! This was announced at the very very beginning of 2013, and it's very unlike me not to acknowledge it until now but that doesn't mean I'm not excited to watch the birth of baby West on national television, whether it be Keeping up with the Kardashians or Kourtney and Kim take Miami. Also, rumour has it that Kanye wants to name his child North so the unfortunate kid's name is North West. Top quality humour there.
The baby should actually be born at a similar time to the other royal baby so there's yet another thing to look forward to in 2013!

Finding Nemo Sequel
If you haven't seen Ellen DeGeneres announcing this then click here. I think it is suffice to say that I could not be more excited for Finding Dory if I tried. We've all been waiting 7 years for this announcement, and here it is, in 2013! I know that the film won't actually be released until 2015 but now is not too early to start getting excited about it.

40th Anniversary of Mobile Phones
Yup, yesterday marked 40 years since the first mobile phone call was ever made. Now over 6 billion people in the world own mobiles (which is about 1 billion more than the number of people who own a toothbrush. Lovely.) and it is estimated that in 2014 there will be more mobile phone owners than actual people in the world, which is quite impressive.
I love my mobile, my trusty Crapberry, and I think it's very exciting that this year marks 4 decades of mobiles being around, good on you 2013. 

To add to all of that, on a more personal level, my GCSEs will be over this year! (Let's not mention the impending A Levels that also start this year)

So, there are just a few reasons why you should be glad that Earth wasn't taken over by Zombies before 2013 and I'm sure there's even more reasons that I've missed off and more to come.

Sorry for the long break, enjoy the April snow.
M x

Underground Musings

As I have returned to my regular school schedule, I have had to go back to taking the tube twice a day and there are so many occasions when people on the tube have done something to annoy me and I have wanted to say something to them, but obviously can't. I have kept all these annoyances inside me and they are now bursting out of my seams so I felt it extremely necessary to write them somewhere; it is too late to tweet them so I am writing all of them here, in short letter form to each of the concerned groups. I hope you can sympathise and that I don't sound excessively harsh. I also hope that if you fit in any of the following categories, you will learn from this blog post.

This is not a realistic image of a London tube. Picture this and add gum all
over the seats and poo on the walls and seats.

Dear Foreign Tube-Travellers, just because the majority of the tube cannot understand you does not grant you the liberty to chat and laugh as loudly as you like.

Dear Students of the French School in London, I am not fluent in French like you but I do know enough French to tell when you are bitching about me and my friends, arrêtez s'il vous plaît.

Dear Year 7s, I don't really want to know about the whole of you day and what you did on the weekend and I don't think the whole carriage does either; especially when your story is aboout how a nit fell out of a girls' hair and onto the desk in English (although please tell me who this girl is so I can avoid her eternally). Please turn your voice down a little.

Dear iPod Listeners, I don't mind when I can hear the song that you are listening to very slightly, I know how difficult non-soundproof headphones can be, but when your music is so loud that I could identify and sing along to every song that you are listening to, that's when it's time to lower the volume.

Dear People Who Put Bags on Seats, no, just no.

Dear Laptop-Using-Office-type Commuters, just because you look suave in your suit and tie (Justin Timberlake song title intended) and your laptop happens to be the newest edition of Apple's MacBook Pro, doesn't grant you the liberty to stick your elbows all up in my biznizz.

Dear Fifty Shades of Grey Reading Commuters, don't be ashamed of your reading material, whip it out and read it openly. Scrap all that inside-of-your-handbag reading (not subtle) or covering the front and back covers with paper (it just makes it even more obvious) or reading your erotic novel on your eBook (sneaky sneaky). If you've got it, flaunt it; I'm sure that is the appropriate use of that saying. Also, after many over-the-shoulder readings, I have nearly read the whole of Fifty Shades Darker myself but I just need someone to open the book between pages 500-550 and I will have finished it!

Dear Pole Hoggers (the ones who lean their whole bodies against the hand rail thing so there is nowhere for you to hold onto in order to steady yourself. I am no pro-tube-surfer.), do you enjoy it when other members of the tube carriage fall all over and trample on your toes? If so, you have found the perfect way to ensure this happens to you lots, congratulations.

Dear Those who Insist upon Eating Fast-Food on the Underground, your food smells so so bad, could you at least be decent enough to spray some room spray around the tube once you have guzzled your cheeseburger? Also, feel free to give me one of your chips, especially if you have a large order of them (don't forget the ketchup either).

Here are a few more personal ones:

Dear Man Sitting Opposite me Today, I know that your headphones weren't plugged into anything, I saw when you were untangling them. Why did you insist upon pretending to listen to music? You weren't gaining any cool points.

Dear Man in Suit Standing on the Tube on Tuesday, do you need an iPhone to go with those three BlackBerries?

Dear Woman Sitting Across From me Yesterday, why didn't you share your cold pizza with me? Yes, it was 8 in the morning, but you had well over 10 pieces all to yourself. Also, I liked your nail varnish.

Dear Man Who Was Listening to the James Bond Theme Song on Repeat on the Tube Last Year, I love you man. Please come back, you made my tube journey feel so bad*ss. (Starred it just in case)


Hope that wasn't too nasty and you will forgive the large, not-so-leisurely break that Lucy and I took.
Also, if you see my on the tube feel free to say hi, give me a chip/slice of pizza, turn your music down and give me some space to hold onto the hand rail. There is only a 60% chance I'll blog about it.

M x

How to Survive Exams

So I'm sure that many of you, like me and Lucy, have just had exams of one type or another. Therefore, you will know that the examination period is not a fun one and can be pretty tough; frantically cramming 10 minutes before every exam, worried when you need to pee during one of them, running out of water halfway through- all the kind of traumas you experience during this stressful time.
To reduce the worrying and nail biting a little, I have come up with a few ways to help you in surviving exams.

1) Go to the bathroom immediately before every exam

This is very important as it greatly decreases the chances of you needing to use the conveniences during an exam, when all of your time should be spent working on getting as close to full marks as possible; needing to pee is very distracting and actually going to do so wastes valuable time.

If you know that you have an exam at 11.45, go to the loo at 11.35ish, for example. If you absolutely have to go, run to the water closet and back but you may have to forfeit hand washing, I'm sorry.

Weird talk over... Promise it won't happen again.

2) Wear comfortable clothes

If you were in the fortunate position of being allowed to wear your own clothing during your exam weeks then it is very important that you adhere to this point.

Shoes with any form of heel are a big no-no, if you are (like me) someone that likes to sit on your feet then imagine how uncomfortable you would be if you were basically sitting on blocks of wood. Optimum footwear would be Uggs or Converse.

Best form of legwear is leggings because you don't necessarily have to look majorly slobby wearing these (like you would in trackies) and they are comfortable and allow you to move around, plus jeans can be uncomfortable and have itchy labels.

Side note- don't wear puffy coats that make massive amounts of noise whenever you move your arms and distract and annoy the person sitting behind you (sorry Lucy).

3) Arrive on time

There is nothing worse than going into an exam already stressed out and frazzled about other things, this is induced greatly by arriving to an exam a tiny bit late and making everyone else in the exam hall wait for you. Teachers will be less than impressed with you and you may receive some judgemental and exasperated looks when you finally enter. This will not put you in your happy place, which is where you need to be for exams. Plus then all your friends are completely entitled to blame you if they don't do as well as they would like in the exam that you held them up in.

4) Don't be tired

The obvious way of ensuring that you aren't knackered prior to sitting an exam is by getting a good night's sleep the night before, however, I know how hard this can be when you know that you have a greatly nerve-racking 2 and a half hour history exam the next day (or something similar), but there are other ways of staying awake.

What you eat can help (less Dairy Milk, more spinach), drink loads of water, Starbucks in the morning can help, have snacks and eat 3 whole meals. Good? Semi-health lecture over.

5) Water

Even though this will inevitably make you need to go to the bathroom, water is a good thing to have with you during exams if you drink it sporadically in small volumes. Try to have water bottles that make the least noise when you open and drink out of them (*cough* Lucy) and be careful not to spill any on your paper!

6) Actually Revise...

It's nice going into an exam knowing that you will be able to give reasonable answers to every question that you will be asked. This is not a feeling commonly experienced by yours truly but I've heard it's great. Suss out how you learn things best (notes, reading, mind-maps, whatever) and really drill the facts.

I hope you appreciate how teachers' Powerpoint that picture is.

There is no way that your exam experience will be fun, easy and carefree because they're not meant to be, but hopefully following the above guidelines will help to ease the experience a tiny bit.

If the above are no help and you fail every exam you can always try this one:

7) Bribe Your Teachers
I find cakes and other baked goods work best especially if you are a talented baker but I know that money also works.
Good luck if you are receiving any results these coming weeks!

M x